PMS is a bitch

Am feeling really emotional today, and yes, it's probably PMS. That, coupled with the fact I have put on almost a kilo this week despite doing way more exercise than normal. My fat self is so pathetic. That, tripled with having to travel from one crappy job to the next for the next few days. Oh, and Gavin, being our old store manager, is working now at the place I'm relieving at, and you know what the first thing he said to me was? "You still haven't got another job yet?" and then he scoffed! Bastard. Way to up someone's self worth. So, there's that, quadrupled with the reminder that I'm no longer involved in some people's lives. If it weren't for mutual friends I'd have no idea what has happened with them lately, and it's sad that, one person in particular, used to contact me a few times a day and now nothing. Sad to see good friendships go the wayside. That, whatever the fifth multiple is, multiplied by knowing that Ivan has had a bad day too and doesn't want to talk about it, which makes me feel bad because I worry about him. And finally, icing on the cake, I really never wanted to get this emotional so publicly but was gonna burst.

But yeah, I'm sure it's just PMS.

Toadie rules

Been a busy couple of days. I've gotten over my cold now and the weather has been beautiful so I've been trying to make the most of it while it lasts.

Now that the finals are here for the footy I've been getting into it a bit more again. On Saturday we had a couple of friends over for the games, had some pizza, beer and just a great time. I went and picked my car up that morning so was in a great mood to start with. So good to have it back!

My sister is in a group called Project Dolphin Safe and they were doing some tree planting and rubbish removal around the Port River on Sunday so I went along to help out. The guy that plays Toadie in Neighbours, Ryan whatever, was there and Maria and I got our photo taken with him. Not that either of us are really into the show but just for a bit of a laugh. Apparently he's a committee member, not that he lives in the state or anything, and my sister has certainly never seen him at any committee meetings. We wondered whether he'd actually do any work or just stand in the shade of the tent all day, but after our morning break he did actually get his hands dirty and helped out. More than I can say for his chick though, lazy sod. Anyway, Maria and I had a great day, I reckon together we planted about 80 trees, the whole group doing over 1000 they said. On the way back home we stopped off at a couple of places along the Port River to see if we could spot any dolphins but had no luck. Port Adelaide is a really weird place to visit for me. Being a Port there's a lot of industry around there and it has so much tradition it's almost like stepping back in time. I can picture myself there 100 years ago waving off steam ships and the like. But then, I'm a freak, so never mind.

Then the weekdays arrived, and it's back to work. And this week, because Bilo is so wonderful at planning ahead for when people go on holidays, I've gotta fill in at another store and travel between the two. It means a little extra money but a hell of a lot more hassle, so not really worth it. Meh. Stupid Bilo. As down as I am about it, still been filling in lots of job applications last few days. Can't give up I suppose.

Oh, and how good was the Brownlow Medal last night?!?! 3 winners, what a treat! My main reason for watching the Brownlow is to see what the player's wives and girlfriends are wearing. Nathan Buckley's wife is hideous, I don't see the big deal about her. I think we women like awards shows because we imagine being on the arm of someone there. I asked Ivan if guys imagine being with the girls there, and he said they just imagine undressing them afterwards. Probably a true realisation.

Anyway, had better go, bored you long enough as it is. This weather has been so nice lately, it's inspired me to get my fat ass away from the couch and go for walks. So please stay, nice weather! Mel needs you!

Unwanted

I'm just going to copy and paste a conversation had with my friend Jun tonight, sums up perfectly how I'm feeling at the moment and I won't need to type it all out again. So here goes, and, for those a little slow on the uptake, we're talking about job applications.

[20:43] Jun: still looking at the apps?
[20:44] Mel: yeah, i have a lot of them to do this weekend
[20:44] Mel: i don't know why i bother
[20:45] Jun: because....
[20:45] Jun: you want work that actually uses your field of study?
[20:45] Mel: well yeah, but sick of rejection letters
[20:45] Mel: i obviously suck
[20:45] Jun: no
[20:45] Jun: it's just that
[20:46] Mel: is hard to think you're good at something when all you hear is how you're not good enough
[20:46] Jun: your field is a rather narrow and underfunded one, you know?
[20:46] Jun: populated with bean counters and desk jockeys
[20:46] Mel: at first i told myself that, now i've given up
[20:46] Mel: the amount of time and energy i put into these applications i could be doing something useful
[20:47] Jun: but it IS useful
[20:47] Mel: no it isn't, gets me nowhere
[20:47] Jun: like what else are you gonna do?
[20:47] Jun: watch TV?
[20:47] Mel: exercise, get skinny, go for walks, plant a tree, anything
[20:47] Jun: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
[20:47] Jun: at night?
[20:47] Mel: read a book, i love reading, never get time
[20:48] Jun: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
[20:48] Jun: I like reading too
[20:48] Mel: i don't just do these at night :-(
[20:48] Jun: but I only read trash novels
[20:48] Jun: so big waste of time there
[20:48] Jun: look
[20:48] Mel: heh
[20:48] Jun: once you get a job,
[20:48] Jun: then you can do all those instead of writing
[20:48] Jun: apps
[20:48] Mel: IF i get a job, you mean
[20:49] Jun: WHEN you get a job, I mean
[20:49] Mel: excellent, in 5 years time i'll get to read, if i'm lucky
[20:49] Jun: I have faith in the Melness
[20:49] Mel: i don't

SOMEONE HIRE ME FFS!!!!!

*sniff*

I just can't shake this damned cold. At least my throat isn't sore anymore but now I sound even more nasal than I normally do. Can't stop sneezing or sniffing. Yesterday was my rostered day off but today I rang up sick, just didn't fancy sneezing and spluttering my way through the day. We already have a lack of customers, didn't want to drive any more away with my germs.

But I've vowed to not let the entire day be a waste. I plan to complete some job applications today and get them sent off. Even though it looks like work is going to give me a promotion soon, I'm gonna keep looking for something else. Haven't studied so many years to stay at a supermarket. In the meantime, hey, if they want to pay me more money that's great, but it's not going to entice me to stay. So will at least spend an hour or so doing that, so as not to waste the whole day.

The only thing that sucks about throwing a sickie is having to go to the doctor for a certificate. I remember the good old days when the Medicare system actually worked and you didn't have to pay up front to see the doctor. I know within a couple of weeks most of it is sent back to you, but when you're on a very strict budget like me, being out of pocket for two weeks sucks.

Anyway, enough ranting and raving like a lunatic. Anyone would think I was stricken with fever the way I'm carrying on.

*sniff*

Happy Birthday, Mum!

Today is my Mum's 49th Birthday, and even though she will never see this as she doesn't even know how to turn a computer on, I wanted everyone out there to know how much she means to me and I wanted to say Happy Birthday publicly.

I will admit I have gotten frustrated and annoyed with my parents from time to time, but they both have done everything just to make our lives better. They flew us across the world to where they didn't know the language to give us kids a better life and more opportunities than they had, they made sure we were well fed before they got food for themselves, they worked their asses off to get us not only a decent roof over our heads but to buy us kids anything we desired. The list of things they've done for us is phenomenal. Even today, when we're all grown up and independent, and I'm living away from home, they do everything to help us out. Meals, money, anything to make our lives easier. They know I love them and appreciate them, but maybe I should do more to let them know how important they are to me.

So, on days like today, I think a lot about what they've done for me, how they've shaped me to be the person I am, and I try to make their day as happy and loving as I can. So, to cut a long story short, I love you Mum, and hope you have a great birthday.

Commence preparations

My car finally goes in to the mechanic's tomorrow to get fixed, although he reckons it will take a week and a half, which is a bit dodgy but hey, it's a mechanic. And I'm not paying for it, so I don't care.

But because I have no car, Ivan has to take me to work, which means getting up before midday, which for him, is a huge feat. To ease some of the early morning suffering temper tantrums that will no doubt occur, he has been trying to teach me to drive a manual so that I can drive myself to work using his car on those especially early mornings. Well, been wanting to learn for a while, but now is a good time to. Only had one brief lesson so far, and I certainly won't be driving myself anywhere, but we have commenced preparations.

I intended to write much more but it has taken me an hour to write this little piddly blog as it is, due to chatting, so will say stuff it and come back another day.

Worst. Entry. Ever.

Remind me

Remind me never to do certain things again. Like, looking through the pantry, deciding to clean it out and so having something gross for dinner. I bought this pack of felafel mix a while ago to give it a try. I've had felafels before and thought they were great, so in a very unwise move, thought a packet mix could be just as good, if not better. What should have happened was that I should have left it in the cupboard so it was past its use-by date and then I could have just thrown it out without subjecting myself to its hideous flavours.

By simply making up the mix, I should have known something wouldn't be right. The smells of all the spices should have been a warning. But no, I persevered, stinking out the house in the process. Once cooked, I took a bite and thought 'that wasn't so bad'. Until I swallowed and the after-taste hit me. Ok, well, I needed something to eat for dinner, and these were already cooked so I had to try and drown out the taste. Well, the tomatos and cream cheese just weren't powerful enough. The result? Felafels go in the bin, Mel is still hungry but is feeling too sick to put anything more in her mouth.

Remind me never to do that again.

Theme of the month

It appears that in all of my entries I have nothing much to discuss, this is again one of those times. I don't know what it is with me lately, but I'm feeling very unimaginative and uncreative. I tend to think of things to write about when I am stuck in traffic or daydreaming at work or something. Mostly it's things I've observed, I am a big fan of observing other people. I like to see the way people behave, how they treat other people, etc. I think this is one of the reasons I like reality TV so much lately. Used to hate it more than I hate, well, something I loathe (couldn't think of an example). My latest show is the Amazing Race, on a bit late for my liking but really interesting to see how couples/friends/workmates treat each other under pressure. Then I think about when, the other night at dinner, mum's schnitzel arrived a little late and that was the end of the world as far as my parents were concerned. A hot "debate" followed where dad reminded mum she was not the only customer that night and mum retorted by, well, no retort, just yelling. Would love to see those two trying to decide which plane would be the best to take and who does which task a-la The Amazing Race. Now that would make interesting viewing.

So moving on from that, here's something I hate. When a so-called support person replies to your technical question with an answer that belittles you, removing all blame from them and basically pointing out that you must be a raving lunatic. Let me explain. After 4 days of my Comments on this site being broken, I emailed said support staff at the site that hosts the comments. When I load up IE the next day, lo and behold, it seems to be fixed. So I check my email, telling myself how brilliant I am for notifying them of the problem and how surely I must have received some wonderful gift. Alas, no. The email waiting for me said only this, and I quote - "I have just been to your website and your comments seem to be working fine". Apparently, there has been nothing wrong for 4 entire days. Apparently it was all in my head. And yes, if you noticed it too, apparently it was all in your head. A simple "We apologise, there was a problem with our [insert technical garb here] which has now been fixed" would have sufficed. But no, these people apparently have never heard of customer service. Ok Mel, breathe deeply, calm down....

And, right this second, just got another rejection letter for a job in my email. Yep, life is grand. *sigh*