Three hours...

That's how much sleep I had last night. And this time, it wasn't my own doing. Allow me to explain...

Mum and Dad are on 4 weeks holidays from work and came up to Berri yesterday afternoon to stay for about 6 days, while I travel back and forth between Berri and Adelaide with work training, car servicing, etc. Last night we didn't do much except go and play the pokies for a couple of hours, but I digress.

I have a sofabed in the Lounge room which Dad slept on but for some reason Mum wanted to sleep in the same bed as me. I don't mind that, but let me say now, it will never happen again. I don't know what her problem was but she was snoring all. bloody. night. I even went to bed earlier, turning everything off by 11pm, thinking I needed some sleep. I eventually fell asleep around midnight, and then was awoken at 3am by the snoring... And was unable to fall back asleep...

I'm so freaking tired! And no sleep in tomorrow morning either, have to drop my car off at the workshop by 8am. Wonderful.

Methinks I will sleep until midday on Sunday. Well, I'd better!

Invasion

Ok, the title is a little harsh but it's meant in good humour, since I'm in a funny sort of mood today. My parents are on holidays from work for a few weeks, and they just arrived in Berri about an hour ago. In fact, I only just got back from having lunch with them.

I thought they were only staying for a couple of days but they're staying until Wednesday apparently, which isn't so bad. They'll be at my house more than I will! I'll be with them tonight, and then tomorrow I make my regular pilgrimage back to Adelaide for the weekend. I could have stayed in Berri with them I suppose, but I need to get my car serviced ASAP and the next two weekends are pretty chockers, so this was the only time I could really do it. Plus, I haven't seen Ivan in over a week and am missing him. And, I have a lot of laundry to do too. So mum and dad will stay in Berri while I go back to Adelaide for the above reasons. I'll come back to Berri Sunday night, go to work Monday, and then Monday night I'm heading back to Adelaide again. Work is getting a new Licensing Database so I have training in the city Tuesday - Thursday. I would have had to come back to Berri on Friday again, but the boss said I could work out of the Adelaide office for the day, so I won't be back home until the following Sunday. Got all that? Hehehe :)

In a nutshell, mum and dad staying so long won't be so bad because I'll only be seeing them for two nights over that time. I know that sounds terrible. I do love my parents being with me. It reminds me of being young again, when all they did was for us kids. I mean, they still do that, they look after us beyond themselves I think, but you know what I mean? When you're living at home it's like you get spoiled every day. Mum making you a coffee or toast in the morning, getting home and having your dinner on the table, all that sorta stuff I took for granted. Like, just now, I went home to have lunch with them. They had only just arrived but mum already had the kettle going and had sandwiches ready, and dad was dismantling the heater to get the gas bottle refilled to make the house warm. It's so nice to have that.

Ofcourse, there was always the other side, which still drives me crazy and which is why I know that now that I've tasted the independence (it's been over 4 years since I moved out), I could never go back. They are so loving that it becomes suffocating after a while. They want everything in life to be perfect for us kids. So often, if you do things a little differently, it's "Why don't you do it this way?", or "You know, you really should.....", or, and this is the worst, the changes will be made, to your own things, without your knowledge.

I don't want to sound ungrateful, and the love I have for my parents is immense. If anyone ever did anything to hurt them, I would be on that person in a heartbeat. I just don't think I can handle having them in my face every day again. That's sorta normal, isn't it?

So anyway, I will be online intermittently for the next week and a half. I'm not going to log on from home while they're visiting, I'd rather spend the time chatting to them, but I'll be checking in from work and from Adelaide over the weekend no doubt.

More later...

The Art of Music

I am someone who loves listening to all types of different music, I always have. Now that I live on my own I don't need to worry about waking anyone up in the morning so while I'm getting ready I turn up my music, something that I hadn't been able to do for about 4 years. I never realised I missed it so much.

And now that I work in an office I can bring CDs in with me, put my headphones on and get lost in it all while I do my work (yes, I do actually do work here too, not just spend all my time on the net, hehehe).

There's not really one particular type of music I like, I can pretty much listen to anything. Sometimes it will be just for something catchy you can dance to, but most of the time the songs I get lost in are ones that have amazing lyrics. Ones that different people might get different interpretations over, that make you think about what they're saying. That's why I love bands like Pearl Jam, or people like Eminem, so much. Their music is their way of saying what's on their minds. Maybe it's because I like writing, that I like this type of music the best, I don't know.

Most of the time, songs with great lyrics are love songs, it's a common theme. Whether it's about being in love, losing your love or wanting them back, there's always those few songs that stand out, to make them a little different from the rest.

Last night I decided to listen to some Jeff Buckley which I hadn't listened to in ages. My favourite song of his was always The Last Goodbye and so I wouldn't pay much attention to his others, skipping over them to get to that one song. But last night I really listened and heard the most amazing song, called Hallelujah. It's about, well, I think it is anyway, the death of love, but despite all the pain, he's greatful to have experienced it. I found this site today which goes through the lyrics a bit more and gives its own interpretation of the song, which I pretty much agree with. Funny how this song, which isn't necessarily original in its intent, could grab my attention like that, but I guess it has to do with him having such a haunting voice.

Anyway, I know this is a tangent from my usual "what I did today" blogs but I have been listening to this song most of the day at work and wanted to write something about it since I'm obsessing about it so much :)

I'll get back to my regular blogging activities soon, I promise :)

Regrets?

What I really wanted to write about today was to ask whether anyone that reads this has any regrets from their lives? Most people I know have the mindset that there is no point living with any regrets, because there's nothing you can do about the past. This is true, I just wish I could actually do that.

My problem is I analyse things too much, think about them, trying to figure out why they happened a certain way, what I could have done differently, all that stuff. Am I the only person who does still live with regrets?

The great Dr Phil always says you teach people how to treat you, which is very true I think. So my regrets are not about the big steps in my life, but about things I have said or done to people, which has resulted in the way my relationships are today. That's what I think about often, and regret things done or said. Not with everyone, but sometimes.

What about you guys?

The injustice!

This isn't what I was gonna blog about but I just got an email and I'm annoyed. Bree got voted out of Big Brother last night and the world was good! But, apparently there was an error in the count, and she goes back in tonight. NOOOOO!!! And then the person who was supposed to go, gets evicted Thursday. This sucks, it was obviously damn close and no one wants her there anyway. Leave her out!! :( Anyway, a proper blog to follow soon :P

The best parts of a holiday

I had a great time in Townsville - I met some wonderful people, saw some beautiful scenery, we managed to squeeze a lot into just a few days. But I find that the best parts of any holiday are the ones that might mean the most to you, but perhaps other people mightn't give a second thought to them. Like, something you see, something someone says to you, something that makes you laugh. So I thought I'd share some of my favourite moments from my trip to Townsville.

- Running into someone at the airport, someone who perhaps doesn't play a part in your life anymore but did once, and those times still make you smile, and you wish that people hadn't changed.
- Perusing the Airport bookstore for something to read. Finding a book written by your GP (he writes short stories and poems, not anything medical). Then you see a book that immediately grabs your attention. You read the blurb and immediately buy it, as if it's spoken to you.
- Watching people at the airport while you wait for the plane. The single mothers, the old couple, the young people getting time away.
- Running through the rain across the tarmac to get on your plane. Something to maybe annoy you sometimes but other times, it makes you smile, and you regret that they'll be changing the terminal soon to stop that from happening anymore.
- Getting a window seat and seeing something magical, like the way the rain and darkness disappears once you go above the clouds, and the sun first hits you, and it feels like this is a totally different world.
- Reading that book you bought and realising you've never felt this way about a book before. Has this author delved into your mind? Sure seems like it!
- Meeting people you've known for so long for the first time.
- Meeting the people who are letting strangers stay in their house and realising they're exactly like your own parents.
- Finding that unique thing about each person you're meeting (some examples follow).

Andrei has this way of eating food that is like nothing you've ever seen before. It's like a steak is something to be savoured and eaten only after analysing every bite, turning the food on his plate this way and that, until he finds the next best bit of meat to cut off and eat. He also has a smile that warms your heart.
Chris is not as crazy as you imagined him to be, which is somehow settling. He will say things, just off the cuff like an everyday remark, and not even know how funny what he said actually was. People like this is what you need in everyday life, to keep you laughing and sane.
Sammo is exactly in real life as he is online, his mannerisms, everything. He was always smiling and happy. He had this way of doing things to irritate me (like slurping frozen Coke during. the. entire. movie.) but you could never ever stay mad at him, he's too much of a kind spirit.
Sam was, for lack of a better word, admirable. He pulled me aside and apologised in person for something that had happened over a month ago, and that meant a hell of a lot. I suppose it shows he really does consider me a friend, to bother doing that. He also gives the best hugs, and the little kiss on the cheek at the airport meant a lot after all the crap we've been through :)
Darren was the youngest person there, and I was over 10 years older than him. And yet, the only reason you get reminded of his age is because he will do silly things, things that make you go "oh man, I remember when (such-and-such) and I would just do random things like that" and you'll laugh. Then think about what he just did, and laugh and laugh some more. It's an awesome quality to have.
Greg is very much the same but in a much more subtle way, as if the jokes he shares with people are a lot more intimate, I guess because he's a bit more shy so you need to pull him aside to see his funny side. In other ways he was completely different to Darren which was great, because it made them both unique. He made me laugh as others had over the weekend, but this guy really cracked me up, to the point of laughing until tears welled in my eyes. Laughter I haven't had in such a big way in such a long time. And he did it just by being himself, and that's a friggin wonderful way to be.
Jen is being mentioned here last but is by no means the least. I can honestly say that I think she's a beautiful person. Someone I consider to be the perfect woman. It sounds so odd to say that, but, despite being beautiful on the outside, she's quiet yet funny, so friendly, very easy to talk to, values her friends a hell of a lot (who else would fly across the country as a surprise to her friends), is basically just a wonderful person all-round. The only one-on-one time I had with her only lasted a couple of minutes but I really did love that time. For someone who had never spoken to her before apart from a few sentences online a few months ago, she made me feel... like what I had to say mattered I guess. Hard to explain.

All the things that you see and do during your time away are important and memorable ofcourse, but these few moments shared with each of the people above are the times I hold most dear.

Return to life as we know it

I'm home from Townsville and will be back at work tomorrow. I'll write more soon but just wanted to let people know I was back and hadn't forgotten about blogging :)

A quarter of a century passes in the blink of an eye

Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday to me,
Happy BIRTHday dear me....
Happy Birthday to me!
:D

Birthday Weekend 1.0

With me going to Townsville this coming weekend, the weekend just past was a chance for me to see my family and close friends for my birthday. As usual I arrived in Adelaide on Friday night and it was a pretty quiet one, just catching up on TV shows Ivan had taped during the week for me and then playing some Battlefield online until the wee hours of the morning (despite feeling tired by 11pm).

It's like with me turning 25 I've wanted to reinvent myself in a way. I've been looking through old photos and have found that I look pretty much the same as I did when I was in high school, so it's been high time for a change. So a few weeks ago, getting my ears re-pierced was a start, and then on Saturday my hairdresser came over to give me a brand new style. It's funny, I've gone through stages of different colours like blonde to different lengths, but in the end I've still ended up the same. The style she gave me is not altogether different, just a few layers, but she has given me a fringe for the first time since I was... I don't even know, maybe 10 years old? I remember by Year 7 I didn't have a fringe but I don't know when I grew it out.

After she left Ivan and I went to do a bit of shopping and then his mum popped around briefly. That night we had dinner at the Liberty Diner with my parents, sister, grandma, Michelle and Craig, and Tash. I had such a good night, it was so good to see all the people I'm closest with in one room and I had heaps of fun. I am still the master of the chocolate mousse, sorry Craig :P Plus I got some really lovely, personal presents, things I'll treasure for life, which was beautiful. We left there just after 7pm, and Tash came back to our place for a coffee and a bit of a chat and I think it was about 10pm by the time she'd left. The rest of the night Ivan and I lay on the lounge watching this animated movie called Osmosis Jones and then this special on Stanley Kubrick that had been recorded for me during the week. I can't believe I still haven't bought that box set of his movies after all these years, geez I'm slack!

Sunday was pretty much nothing except driving back to Berri, unpacking and vegging out. My intray at work has hardly anything left in it so I should get everything done before my Annual Leave starts on Wednesday afternoon (and it gives me time to update my blog). There is lots to do tonight though.

Tomorrow is my actual birthday, and it's worked out pretty well because Tash has training in Renmark, so after work she'll be coming over to my place and staying the night. I'm looking forward to it :) But yeah, it makes tonight a bit busier, since I'll need to get most of my packing done, as well as a bit of work I'll have to take home with me since the office doesn't have the software I need to do it. Lots of things to look forward to this week though :)

When pelicans attack!

There's a man who works here who has worked for the Department for something like 35 years. He is generally in good health but suffers from a degenerative eye condition which means his eyesight will get worse and worse and eventually he'll be completely blind. In the last year or so it has gotten to the point where he is now considered "legally blind" and is therefore not allowed to drive anymore. But every 5 years one of his tasks was to go out to various sites around the place and take photographs of the vegetation to monitor change over the years, and this year was one of those years. So, last week I drove him on a half-day trip. I don't mind, I have lots of work to do in the office but I need to get out every now and then, and being the chauffer gives me the opportunity for me to see a bit more of the Murray. Yesterday was his last day of photos so I spent the whole day out, and something funny happened I thought I'd better share.

We were heading out to Mypolonga which is about 2 and a half hours away, and on the way we stopped at Mannum for some lunch. Last week when Bron drove Ross to Mannum and had lunch by the River, she was attacked by a pelican and her lunch was stolen. I was cocky and thought "that sort of thing could only happen to Bron!". So I bought a chicken yiros and Ross looked at me in a funny way when he asked "you sure you want to eat that outside?" and I replied, "yeah, we'll be fine!".

We go down to the Riverbank and sit on the benches and I tuck into my delicious yiros, enjoying each mouthful. Unfortunately, by the fourth bite, Ross noticed 3 pelicans walking towards us, so he suggested we just walk back to the car. We headed off and I turned around to see the pelicans not only following us, but actually gaining on us! When I looked again one had actually started to take flight, lifting itself off the ground. It was at this time I got scared and dropped my yiros and ran, to prevent being attacked. The damn thing snapped it up in no time and Ross laughed himself crazy as I sheepishly went back and picked up the paper the pelican had left behind.

We headed back to the car laughing at my expense, and just as we got there an old biddy (that's a polite description) stopped us thinking we had intentionally fed the pelican a plastic bag or something. No, you nosy cow, it was my lunch, and there was no plastic, and I picked up the paper. Rather than thinking the pelican was innocent, she could have just offered me some food for the love of god!

Hehehe, anyways, was a fun afternoon... Next time we'll take the Department of Environment guy from downstairs to shoot the friggin thing and give the biddy something to really complain about :P

Even my blog is ageing!

In yesterday's hastened blog I forgot to say Happy 1st Birthday to my blog! It turned 1 on June 11th :) I'm so proud to see the little tacker grow up :D

In other news, I need some ideas for a book I'd like to write. It isn't a good start when you can't even think of what to write about! Only serious suggestions though, please...

Quick update(tm)

The weekend just gone was one of the best I've had in a little while, and it wasn't that anything exciting was done, it was just that it was a long weekend and so I had a little more time to relax without having to drive home before I knew it.

Friday night was the usual "watch the TV programs Ivan has taped for me" night with a little time spent online inbetween. We've really gotten into this show called The L Word which, it doesn't sound too good, but is basically about a group of friends who happen to be lesbians and the relationships they have. I think Ivan likes it for the perve factor but I love the show too! Almost every episode lately has made me cry because the characters are so good and the relationship issues they have are relevant to all of us. Um, yeah, so that's my TV recommendation for today :)

Saturday morning mum and my sister picked me up and took me shopping to get me some clothes as an early birthday present. It comes in handy actually because my trip to Townsville is in just a week and a half and I needed a few new things. It's only for 4 days but a girl likes to be prepared :) By 4pm we were utterly exhausted and I'd managed to find most of what I wanted so they dropped me off, and Ivan and I prepared for a rare night out. Living in Berri I tend to crave the things we don't have here and so I was craving Fasta Pasta, so we went there for dinner first and then went to watch The Day After Tomorrow. Neither of us went there expecting much in terms of character development, being one of those "disaster" movies but I did enjoy it actually. We got home and later that night there was a big thunder and lightning storm and me, being the wuss I am, got scared after seeing that movie, hehehe!

Sunday I didn't get up until after 11am which was fantastic, and then we didn't do much except play Sacred and Battlefield. Tried to stay up to watch the Canadian GP but it didn't happen.

Monday was housework day unfortunately. The place in Adelaide is having a routine inspection this Thursday, so I had to clean that (because the man is lazy, hehehe), then drive home and do my own place because I've got an inspection tomorrow. Fun fun! Ah well, all that's left for me to do tonight is the bathroom and then tomorrow morning I'll pull out a few weeds. There aren't many but, um, the ones that are there are as tall as me, so, it could be fun :D

Yeah so just a quick dull update for now since I'm about to leave work. I'll write something more interesting when I have a bit more time.

PS Only one week until I am a quarter of a century, eek!!

Is this journalism?

If you know me, then by now you know I despise censorship in any shape or form, and today I was sent this ridiculous article written by someone who claims to be a journalist. Certainly not an unbiased one who isn't trying to push his beliefs on his readers, that's for sure.

If you don't want to read through all the drivel on that awful link I'll give you a quick rundown. It's basically about video games coming out or that are out now that he has labelled "pornographic". So, now, uptight people such as this have moved on from complaining about violence in video games, to "pornography".

Now, I haven't seen any information on the other games he mentions, but I have played and enjoyed playing the game Singles he speaks about. I'm betting that this guy hasn't even looked at the box of this game. The way he writes, I'm betting he's never even used his computer for anything more than typing the bullshit we've been subjected to.

Yes, the purpose of the game is to pair up couples. Yes, they have little cartoony genitals. Yes, you can eventually get your couple to have sex. Yes, it is an adult game. So they're selling it online now, so if a kid has access to a credit card they can buy it despite its adult rating. This "journalist" must see children as super geniuses, because he says the kids can "trick" mum or dad into getting this game for them. Err, excuse me? The game is called Singles. What would mum and dad think it was about? And if you were involved at all in your kids lives and were so friggin protective then surely you'd research stuff before you bought them a game. And if you couldn't trust your kid not to steal your credit card details, then you've probably not done a good job anyway.

Okay, so I don't have children of my own yet but I'd like to think that I have thought about certain issues and how I might address them with my child. It isn't sick or wrong for a kid to want to know about sex. It's a natural, healthy thing, and wouldn't you rather them feel that they can come and talk to you about anything then to go out and find things out the hard way? Ok, so I probably wouldn't go and buy them Singles, it has an adult rating after all, but The Sims 2? You can't be serious this guy is complaining about that. A couple giggling and tickling each other in bed is not throwing sex into the kids face.

What used to happen back in the day before video games? Well, back then, there were magazines. I guess this guy doesn't know about magazines. Well, lots of dads have magazines lying around. Kids find them. Their friends might come over and flick through the magazine and have a good giggle over it. Are these kids going to grow up perverted? No (unless they actually have some mental problem ofcourse). Are their minds now tarnished for life? No. Might they instead develop a healthy attitude towards sex instead of thinking it's something we should never ever talk about and is only to be kept secretive? I hope so. When I have children, I want them to be able to talk to me about anything. I may look over what they do (I'm not going to go out and buy my son porn when he turns 12, I'm not that retarded) but I won't lie to them or hide them from the world.

Parents need to think for themselves. Your views may be different from mine and I respect that, but please don't read crap articles like the one mentioned here and take the censorship side. Make the decisions, and then take the responsibility for them.

Censorship leads to repression, which can lead to resentment and unhealthy relationships. Ofcourse, these are only my views, but this article has really fired me up...

I'm still alive!

Things have been so busy here lately, I kept meaning to update this and just haven't found the time, so I'm doing this on my lunch break.

Because it's the end of the financial year coming up and I'll be going to Townsville a few days before it officially ends, work has been absolutely nuts and there are so many things to do with that same deadline. It's good in a way because the time goes really quickly, but I don't get time to do things like my blog :)

So yeah, work has been taking up a lot of my time lately, but besides that the weekends have gotten a bit busy again. Last weekend was Michelle's, Alisha's and Jacob's birthday so a busy time at that household!!! Well, Jacob's was a day later but a combined BBQ/birthday party was held at their place on Sunday which was nice. I'm not being biased (I swear!) but they are the cutest kids I've ever seen.

This weekend is Rosanne's wedding, an old high school friend who I haven't seen for a few years I think, so it's a bit weird going to her wedding when it's been so long, and I haven't even met her fiancee. I've come down with a bit of a cold, too, so not sure how the day will go, may have to play it by ear and perhaps leave the reception early or something. It'll be good to see Holly again too, but I have no idea who else will be there from school.

Hahaha, yes Michelle, I'm updating this as we speak :D

Sorry, bit of an interruption there :P Just kidding Shelly :)

I've been mentioning a bit lately about how I always wanted to be a writer and that this is like my only outlet at the moment. Well a good friend also loves writing and plans to write a bit of a series throughout his life, and has kindly asked me to offer some of my own thoughts to the story! I can't tell you how happy this makes me, although, it will be a challenge for me, I must admit. I haven't really written anything since things I had started and never finished many many years ago, and I've always found writing to be something a bit personal, so stepping out of that comfort zone and challenging myself to be creative and expressive again is going to be tough. Even if everything I suggest is rejected and not ideal for the story, it'll still be good because I'll be challenging myself.

That's it for now, more later :)

Ressurection

I miss writing. Often I had nothing to say, but just writing something, anything, felt good to me. When I was a little kid, I wanted to be a writer. Quite some years ago I even started writing some books. I never finished them though. I didn't want this blog to be another of those abandoned forgotten writing projects of mine. I knew all along that I would miss it, and so I thought I'd just eventually open up a new blog, but then I think of all the posts and comments left here and would miss the continuity. It's almost been a year since I started this blog and so much has happened, why abandon all of that? A lot of the time I write crap all, just spewing random thoughts out as they enter my head, but to me this was what I needed. It's like a journal or diary where you put all your thoughts, dreams and hopes, and flicking through the archives of this blog are like reading through old journals to me. This is far less private ofcourse, and because of that, so many times there were things I wanted to pour out and always held back.

I started to take medication that had some side effects. One of these was the lack of sleep, the other was how emotional they made me. That's where the problem started. I should never have told anyone about them, because they were used against me (and still are) to an extent. If I get upset about something with someone, I think it gets attributed to the combination of lack of sleep and medication, with no acknowledgement to how I actually feel. I may be expressing my emotions more, but the emotions are still real.

Because of the pent-up emotions, some blogs became more personal, and I guess I should have warned you readers because it rubbed some people up the wrong way. So here it is, I am laying it all on the line. Call it my Disclaimer if you will.

If you come here and read something, and you think I am having a bit of a vent about you, please come to me personally and ask me if that's the case. Don't discuss it amongst yourselves escalating speculation, don't put nasty comments up telling me what an awful person I am, be an adult and just talk to me one on one. I have never deleted anyone's comments here unless they have done a double post (true story, I hate censorship remember) but in the future if anyone posts abusive comments I will delete them. That's not what this place is about. Acknowledge my feelings by speaking to me one on one, or I won't acknowledge yours.

Despite popular belief, the Trust No One post I wrote that started a big huge wave of abuse was not about Emmy. It in fact was not about one particular person at all. This is what you readers need to understand - don't take things I write personally because 99% of the time I am writing in a general sense. If I say men suck, it means just that, men. Not one man, even though I may take examples from what I have experienced recently. If I say trust no one it means just that, no one. I have also (though not here yet) said I think that people suck. Yep, people. A generalisation, not directed at one individual. It's important you make this distinction, otherwise you may as well stop coming to this blog. I will do an I Hate People blog sometime soon I'm sure, so if you can't handle it, don't read the post! The majority of my posts here have always been lighthearted, and I'm not about to get totally serious on you, but hey, this is Mel's Random Ramblings. This is me. Sometimes I like to ramble about things I have noticed in this world I don't like. Most of the time I like to ramble about things I have noticed in this world I do like. There is always good with the bad, positives with the negatives, the yin with the yang. That is life. This blog is where I post about my life, so expect it.

I closed this blog because I was lost in life, I didn't know where to turn, and had discovered my blog was not a place I could escape to as it seemed my negatives were something for people to mock. A lot has happened in my personal life lately dealing with my relationships with several people, including those closest to me, and it's going to take a lot to heal. I'm trying to get past all that though and so I won't discuss that matter further, but thought it fair to tell you why I stopped writing. Hopefully those people would have lost interest in checking this site by now. I used to love seeing my little Site Meter tick up, loved seeing people leave Comments. I guess it was pride. I don't care about that stuff anymore, and will not be advertising this blog like I used to publicly. If you still come here, great, if no one does, well, at least I know I won't have to worry about what I write. When Squash reopened his blog (I'll put a new link up soon) he reminded me how good doing this felt, and so, it's time...

Closing Down

This will be my last blog. My last public one anyway. I think I'll go back to writing something only I can read.

A long time between drinks

I hate how sometimes there is nothing to do and then things get so busy you can't even update your blog for over a week! I don't even know exactly where the time has gone, all I know is that it has.

The weekend flew! I arrived on Friday night, then on Saturday we had a LAN session at the hall Alex's dad runs, and so the entire day was taken up with that pretty much. We used to try and have one about once a month but haven't had one now in over a year and so I had a great time. On top of getting to play games for the entire day/night I got to catch up with people I haven't seen for absolutely ages like Geoff, Jason, Paul, etc. We got there at about 1pm and didn't get home until about 3:30am, so it was a full-on day. Sunday was therefore really tiring and all I did was drop in to mum and dad's and caught up with Grandma before I came home.

I worked until about 4pm on Monday at which time Jodie and I took a Gov car and drove back to Adelaide. I dropped her off at the hotel and so got to spend a brief amount of time at home that night. Next morning I picked Jodie up and we went to the most pointless training session in the Adelaide office ever. Won't bore you with the details really, but a waste of time nonetheless. We left at about 3:30pm and when we got home I was completely stuffed.

On top of the running back and forth work has just been crazy too. With the end of the financial year coming the work is piling up, so many things to do before the end of June!

I was thinking that I really miss living with someone. Don't get me wrong, ofcourse I miss Ivan but probably more than anything I miss just having someone else there. I mean, I do like being on my own sometimes too, like not having to worry if I'm bothering anyone by blasting my music as I take a shower in the morning and stuff like that, but when it comes to being scared you just think 'I wish someone else was here'. The scary neighbour is the main thing, yes. I was working on the art of avoidance but before I left for Adelaide on Friday I went to put some rubbish in the bin and he was bloody well outside wasn't he? The conversation was actually like a normal neighbourly conversation over the fence and I went inside the house and thought to myself that perhaps I am overreacting as there was nothing creepy about that at all. But as soon as I had finished that thought, lo and behold, a knock was on the door and there he was again being creepy as all hell. He actually started walking in as soon as I opened the door but I stopped that thankfully. My God, why couldn't he leave things in a normal manner?!?

And then the other times you wish someone else was around is like last night when I attempted to watch a movie. I started watching The Butterfly Effect which isn't meant to be scary but is meant to keep you guessing. Did the film-makers tell the composer that it wasn't meant to be a scary movie? I think not! Within the first 7 minutes I had jumped 3 times because of the damn music and was completely freaked out so I had to switch it off, but I really want to see this movie! Guess I'll have to wait until I have time during the day, when it isn't dark. Silly Mel.

In other news, Big Brother is back on which means Big Brother Up Late is there to entertain me during my insomnia, and so the world is good again.

Sometimes life won't leave you alone

I couldn't think of an appropriate title so took that from a Pearl Jam song, although it makes it sound as if things have been really bad lately which isn't the case.

The weekend was one of the best I've had for a while actually, and it wasn't even that anything super special was done, it was just carefree. On Saturday I went out to lunch with Virginia and Nicole who I haven't seen since Gin got married in February so that was great, we saw stacks of photos of course and had a nice afternoon. The rest of Saturday involved Ivan and I playing hours upon hours of Sacred. Such a good game, even despite all the bugs in it. We stopped to watch Kill Bill which I liked, but usually I love Tarantino films and this was just so-so. I was expecting some cheesiness like in the old Japanese movies, and I got it, and I found it amusing, but at the same time that was why I didn't love the movie, was just a bit too much I think.

Sunday was an attempted sleep in and then in the afternoon we went to the creek at Reynella and fed the ducks and the geese. I love feeding the ducks but the geese scare me, I have this vision that I'll be pecked and chased, and so my fear provides Ivan with some free entertainment. From there we went to Darren and Christine's and Alex came along too. We had a BBQ, played Kelly Pool for hours while freezing, then went inside and played some Scattergories. It's weird, we can do very little there but always have a good time because we always have heaps of laughs. We all attempted to stay up and watch the Grand Prix but about half way through the race people started getting tired so we all went home. Ivan and I just *had* to play some more Sacred before going to sleep, sad eh?

With Monday being a public holiday it was time for me to head home, so I didn't actually get to spend Ivan's birthday with him, but after such a great weekend I think it's ok.

Hope you all had a good one, the next one is almost here already!

Happy Birthday Ivan!

HAPPY 31st BIRTHDAY to Ivan today, yay!!!!!

It's the first birthday I haven't made a cake or been there to celebrate it, but we had a great weekend and I hope you have a great day today :)

I'll write a more in-depth blog later, this was just my short birthday message :)

A return to regular programming

Hooray for long weekends!!! I can't wait to get back to Adelaide, am leaving work in just under 2 hours and I have absolutely zilch to do today so Bron and I have been playing putt-putt on the computer and doing other non-productive things. Exercising the mind, yeah, that's it! And thanks for the emails peoples, they keep my day non-productive too which is how I like it :D

On Tuesday is Ivan's birthday so this weekend we're sort of celebrating that. We probably won't do much except tv and net tonight, and tomorrow I'm going out to lunch with Virginia and Nicole who I haven't seen for a couple of months but apart from that nothing's been set in stone. We'll probably catch up with Darren, Christine and Alex some time over the weekend, so I'm looking forward to it. We were planning a BBQ but it's getting a bit chilly for that this weekend, we'll just play it by ear.

The annoying thing is I ordered Ivan's birthday present a couple of months ago in the hopes it would get here in time and maybe I'll be lucky and it will arrive in time for Christmas. It was on backorder, which was only meant to take 2 weeks, damn Americans. No matter.

Hmm, what else... The pub on Wednesday night with people from work was really good. We had a few more people joining us but in the end it was the same 4 of us who stayed until the end last Friday night too, lol. And one of them is my boss so it's nice to have a boss you can joke around with and have a few drinks with. I'm lucky I work in such a friendly environment.

Anyways, enough for now. Hope y'all have a good long weekend. Good on the ANZACs!!! And damn you QLDers for having an extra day on top of the one we all get :P

Emmy

You think everything I say is about you anyway, but this one is all for you girl.

Please stop bugging me every damn place I go. You don't trust me, you hate me, you think I'm an awful person - I get it. Your message is loud and clear. I am tired of explaining every little thing I do or say and am done with it. So please leave me alone, if nowhere else than at least at my own fucking website. You're the most unstable person I've ever met, with your talking nice to me on Tuesday night this week for example, and then turning into megabitch the next night.

I want nothing more to do with you, so fuck the hell off. You made this public, not me. But yeah, you're never at fault...

Never

A while ago I wondered if I should censor myself here and was told, and agreed, not to. I'm not going to start now. I write what I feel. Stop reading if you think every single entry is about you.

Trust no one

Sometimes, unfortunately, you find out you trusted the wrong ones...

Me is bored

I don't really have anything to write as is usually the case but I need something to take up my time. I was feeling better this morning and now the nausea has hit again. Wonderful. I will try and not log on tonight and just lie down and take care of myself for a change, but I have a feeling I'll get bored and will be lured to the internet like a moth to a flame!

Since life is rather dull right now I'm going to post another email thing I got which I actually liked. Sorry :P

The most destructive habit - worry
The greatest joy - giving
The greatest loss - self respect
The most satisfying work - helping others
The ugliest personality trait - selfishness
The most endangered species - dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource - our youth
The greatest "shot in the arm" - encouragment
The greatest problem to overcome - fear
The most effective sleeping pill - peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease - excuses
The most powerful force in life - love
The most dangerous pariah - a gossiper
The world's most incredible computer - the brain
The worst thing to be without - hope
The deadliest weapon - the tongue
The two most power-filled words - "I Can"
The greatest asset - faith
The most worthless emotion - self-pity
The most beautiful attire - a smile
The most prized possession - integrity
The most contagious spirit - enthusiasm

/spam

Another rivetting update

I'm still at work but thought I'd quickly update before I go home because I haven't in a little while. Today just flew, but I have a feeling the rest of the weekend is going to drag on with me doing piles and piles of filing. Joy.

I really need some sleep and am feeling sick, not sure what the feeling sick is from but Xy reckons it's because I'm not getting any sleep. It's possible. It started last night and all today I just felt like I was going to throw up and/or collapse at my desk. Thankfully neither of those things happened. I'll be seeing the doctor again this weekend to see if I should continue with these tablets for another month or not. Although they're not letting me sleep I have lost a few kilos just by using them so they're doing what they're supposed to. But lack of sleep means I have no energy to actually exercise which would be the healthy thing to do. Catch 22. Like I'll just lie in bed for hours and hours waiting to fall asleep, and then when my alarm goes off my body wants to sleep! Stupid Mel.

The weekend was pretty good actually. Ivan came up here to visit, sorta wasn't sure if he could or not and then in the last minute he could but he only stayed one night due to work. Was still good though. After work on Friday, because Bron and I were both in Berri for the first Friday night, like, ever, a few of us went to the pub for a few drinks which was really good. Then Ivan came up, we watched that movie Thirteen (bit over the top), and then all day Saturday and Sunday I was fixated on this new game called Singles. Within 2 days of playing it my couple was married, yay! I've used the word 'good' a lot in this paragraph :/

Um, aside from that all that's left to say is my neighbour still creeps me out. I dunno, maybe he's just lonely or something but I get this vibe. If you don't see me online again, it will probably be due to him *shudder*

Anyway it's quite late and I want my dinner. Good ol' Subway!!!

Afterthought

I listen to music while getting ready in the mornings and this morning that song The Real Slim Shady by Eminem came on and I realised: I can't listen to this song anymore without thinking of that Futurama episode where it has the original Star Trek cast (except Scotty) and Kirk does this spoken word recital of the song! Makes me giggle :)

Oh, and 2018 visitors? Why aren't you people commenting? :(

Why men suck (sometimes)

You know sometimes when something is bothering you, and you want to talk it over, but the other person doesn't want to? This is why men suck. Oftentimes the problem will be ignored, thus how is it expected to be gone, forgotten and not brought up again? Ok, so I wanna talk about something, so I bring it up. When it is slid under the carpet it still gets to me, I want answers, so I bring it up again. In the end all you do is get frustrated with each other and the problem is there to stay. And then you complain when it is again mentioned at a later date. What do you guys expect? If something is important to one person it should be important to both. Instead of saying you don't know what to say, or "What do you want me to say?" just say something, anything, to give us a freaking idea of what the issue means to you. Please. Being met by silence or empty glances is worse than anything you could possibly say.

I suspect I shall delete this post at some stage. For now, I just wanted to write, to release.

Time off?

Isn't the 4 day break meant to be a rest and rejuvinate you? Mine sure hasn't been! Well, no, it hasn't been stressful, just a bit of running around. Oh, I should have started by saying Happy Easter, or Happy Chocolate-eating Festivus to those that don't celebrate Easter.

I came down Thursday night, drive was the most stressful drive ever because the traffic was just insane. Mostly going in the opposite direction but it meant I couldn't pass anyone. After getting here and having a bite to eat I really wanted to go and hire the Schindler's List DVD since it just got released Wednesday finally, so we went to a couple of video stores on the search but no luck. We went to visit John though, our old housemate, and that was great since he always cracks me up. Then we watched this movie called The Dreamers which was, err, very wierd. Not recommended unless you like some crazy brother and sister action. *shivers*

Friday was the day we did absolutely nothing. Although I think I slept funny and my shoulder was sore all day so I spent a lot of time trying to lie or sit in some comfortable way and having no luck. Lots of pain, but all better now. We ended up getting Schindler's List that day though so that cheered me up.

Saturday, my parents' place for lunch. Fussing over you not eating enough, take this home with you, why didn't you park in the drive, and so on and so forth. A great day when they finally stopped fussing and just let us chat. Got home, attempted to play this game Sacred but it has lots of pretty big bugs in Coop mode so that idea went down the drain. Watched a great football match, logged on and had another late night.

Yesterday, yes, I actually went to church! I do that sometimes, and I find it a great escape. Then had a quiet afternoon until catching up with a few people. Played online some more, then watched Passion of the Christ, ending up another late one. I really should have gone to bed earlier, all weekend the earliest I went to bed was 2:30am so my body clock is all stuffed up now and I probably won't be able to get up for work tomorrow.

Leaving for home in less than 3 hours, have eaten too much chocolate and have lots more left. Easter ain't no rest!

Words of Wisdom

I got the best email today (which was probably sent two days ago because our email is acting up). It's rare for these types of emails to grab my attention but I could sure relate to this so just gonna put it in here.

As I've Matured...
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in...
I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jack-asses. (Ain't that the truth!)
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it (I really have to pay attention to this one).
I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. (Not sure I agree with this)
I've learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.
I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.
I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.
I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back.
I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.
I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the butt are permanent.

Not an original blog but meh :P

Do you ever got those days...

... when you actually have a little self confidence and feel a bit better about yourself? That very rarely happens with me, but I'm having one of those weeks I think. My self esteem can get pretty low most of the time, but I think lately I've been realising that I'm not so bad dammit, even if I'm not as thin as I'd like to be. I have a great job, great people in my life, so why not look on the bright side and be happy instead of thinking of what I don't have? For me, this is a real epiphany, and I don't know whether it will last or if this is just a temporary thing. Could it be because I'm turning 25 in a few months? Does that age somehow mean I think clearer and realise what the important things in life are? Or it could just be this 'legalised speed' I'm taking and next week I'll go back to being down again, who knows.

Still no time to blog!

This has been the longest break between blogs I've had for a while because work has been flat out this week. I was taking Friday off as well as leaving early on Thursday afternoon so I worked a few extra hours during the other days so I wouldn't fall too far behind.

So a quick rundown of what's been happening since my last post I guess. The LAN last Saturday was great fun, with us getting home at around 4am. Monday I had to call the police because my neighbours wouldn't stop screaming at each other, and for once I actually listened to what they were saying and found he was drunk and had been hitting her. Things have been extremely quiet since that I wonder whether or not they're both still actually living there. Monday I started medication which doesn't let me sleep much. I was gonna keep it quiet but who cares, the people that read this are close to me anyway. The medication is also known as 'legalised speed' and so last night was the first time I've had 6 hours sleep in a week. I came to Adelaide Thursday night instead of Friday because my cousin Linda was down from Toowoomba with her fiancee who we hadn't met yet so we went out to dinner. He's a little younger than her but he's such a nice guy. I don't think she's ever even dated anyone before so this guy must be really special. Friday we did nothing except watch some dvds, and yesterday we went to the footy with Mum, Dad and Maria which was cool.

Later today I drive back to Berri, which is the part of the weekend I hate most. Once I'm back there it's ok, but the drive sucks. Especially because I am so tired at the moment too. And now it gets darker earlier, I'll be leaving in only 4 hours so Sundays go way too fast.

I've just sat here for 5 minutes trying to think of something interesting to say. I've failed. Ah well.

Turnaround

How does one go from being snowed under at work for the first half of the week and now having nothing to do?!? Gah, how annoying, they need to learn to space things out a bit more :P

I've been reading through some of my Blog archives. Damn, some of the comments people left still crack me up to this day, and my blogs used to be far more interesting and amusing. I'm getting old and boring! I read this one I wrote about toxic friends, I still have those. Whoops, maybe I should pay more attention to what's right for me.

I'm in such a silly mood today. It's either lack of sleep, looking forward to the weekend, or that Latte was too strong. Maybe all three :D

All I know is I have this pimple on my chin which is about to get it's own postcode!!

Aerosmith was right...

...when they said there's something wrong with the world today.

I know, I know, I wasn't meant to get political in this blog but I've heard some really crazy news stories lately and I just can't help but speak my mind about them (don't worry, they weren't all political).

Firstly, apparently an inquest into September 11 found that both Clinton and Bush are responsible for not preventing this. Supposedly Clinton had three occasions where he could have sent air strikes to take out Osama but called them off when he realised civilians would have been taken out aswell. Err, I'm sorry, but are these the same people who, if he had gone through with this, kicked up a huge stink about all the innocent lives that had been lost? And would it really have prevented September 11? There seems to be an awful lot of contradiction when it comes to politics and it seems that no matter what people do, they just can't win.

On the home front, now Mark Latham wants to remove our troops from Iraq. Don't get me wrong, I'm not some flag-bearing Liberal supporter, and in recent times I have lost a little respect for our PM, but this just doesn't seem like the right thing to do at all. I can't see what it will achieve. It won't make us any less of a target, it won't help international relations, especially since he said even if an elected Iraqi government asks our troops to stay he'd still bring them back. I just can't see the sense in this, but that's just me.

Finally, and this is a really sad news story. When we lived in Plympton Park I often went for walks around the neighbourhood. I had this set path, and it always took me past this house that had a huge Red Kangaroo living there. There's a high fence, and a Rottweiler, and apparently they had the kangaroo for some 13 years after having rescued it. So, just how fucked up are people when someone is willing to go to the effort of jumping the fence, somehow subduing the dog and getting it into the back yard and logging the gate, all for the sole purpose of killing this kangaroo by bashing its head in. What is wrong with people?!?

The world is seriously crazy.

No time to blog!

Well, when it rains, it pours! For a while I had very little to do at work and this week I am completely snowed under. Off the top of my head I can think of 6 things I am juggling at the moment and so I haven't even had time to update this blog for a while. I'm doing it now as I know I won't get a proper lunch break today so I may as well take some time out and do this.

On top of all that I've been feeling really run down lately and so this morning I slept in and didn't do any exercise, so am feeling a bit guilty about that. Also last night was the first night in, well, as long as I can remember back that I went to bed before 11pm. I don't know whether I'm coming down with something or whether my body's just saying 'give me a break'.

Finding rest at home isn't always easy because of my annoying neighbours. All Monday night they were screaming at each other, felt like I was living with my parents again and hearing them argue all the time! It's sucky when you're trying to clear your mind by doing yoga and all you can hear is the F word. Ah well, can't be helped I guess.

The weekend was quiet but involved late nights. I have a feeling this weekend will too, as we have a LAN to go to, and I haven't been to one for so long I think I'm going to have fun regardless of what we play. Although admittedly I'm not looking forward to 30 laps of a racing game. Methinks I'll either total my car early on or be about 10 laps behind. :D

Well, I guess I'd better get back to it *sigh*

God Bless Caffeine!

I very rarely drink coffee but this morning I really needed a Latte. Luckily this small town isn't so small that you can't find a good coffee shop around the place, and so I went and treated myself one. It's oh so yummy! Perhaps if I went to bed early like I plan to do every night but then never actually do, I wouldn't need a caffeine hit so bad right now, but meh, you get that.

I'm leaving work early today to head to Adelaide a bit earlier. It's getting darker earlier now and I don't like driving at night, especially such a long distance. I just worked out that I only have 5 hours to go, minus my lunch break! Just as well, because I really have very little to do today. All the data for the River has been entered and I'm just waiting for the Murray Bridge office to get back to me on a couple of issues. Once that's done I can print off and send the hundreds of letters out, but I doubt that will get started today. So there's work for me to do, I'm just waiting for the go-ahead. I've also taught myself GIS over the last couple of days and only have one lot of exercises left to do. Plus all the Development Applications are processed. So I'm left with blogging, reading websites and walking around the office chatting to people.

This weekend is probably going to be a bit of a quiet one. Good old IB have a war on tonight so I might finally get to dust off my Medic pack and do a little online gaming for the first time in around 2 months! On Saturday I was supposed to go to the Clipsal 500 with Dad but since he has a sore foot we won't be going. Not to worry, we go every year and missing one year won't be so bad. So I'll probably be watching that on the tv Saturday and Sunday. But the weekend weather looks like it'll be gorgeous so would be worth going out somewhere. We'll see what happens, it's nice to have nothing planned for once and you can just take the days as they come.

Hmm, not much else exciting to report really. Except my neighbour is annoying, but you already knew that.

Hope everyone has a great weekend :)

Hick Town

I like to think that Berri is up with the times and isn't really a country town in the traditional sense, but sometimes I'm reminded that it still is regional and sometimes a bit backward.

For example, when in a changing room of a store a couple of weeks ago I heard two women talking in the next booth. When one said "I dunno, $16 for a skirt is still a bit rich" I almost wanted to scream "You stupid woman, you'd never find a skirt that cheap in the city!". The fact that a town can have no traffic lights whatsoever also reminds me.

But when I read the story in the Murray Pioneer the other day about how the Riverland's first adult shop would be opening tomorrow in Renmark and how the owner is expecting backlash, I wondered just how backward this town is. Surely people here have sex! Sorry to be so blunt but truly, I hate censorship of any kind and the thought that it's such a big deal if an adult store opens in the region is really unusual to me. It's an adult shop anyway, it's still illegal for them to sell to minors, and if adults wish to purchase things, who cares? I've never been in one myself (and can't really picture walking into this one with the possibility of running into someone I might know) but I don't see the problem.

Damn Hick Town!

Holiday!

I don't normally like to post political things in here because it's not that type of blog but for once I agree 100% with what Alexander Downer and even that god-awful Alan Jones have said in regards to our troops being in Iraq and what that means for us in terms of being a target for terrorists. But that's all I'm going to say about that.

In much happier news, I got my holidays signed off by my boss yesterday and in my delight booked my plane ticket to Townsville for late June, yay!!! I can't wait :)

Ofcourse, there is always something to ruin my mood and this time it's my mother. I'm not sure if she's more annoyed at me for going alone, or at Ivan for not coming with me. Grr, I'm an adult for goodness' sake and what on earth is she worried about? I knew this would be my parents' reaction and so I should've taken Ivan's advice when he suggested I don't even tell them I'm going because it's not their concern anyway. Ah well, too late for that now.

But, yay!!

Home time yet?

The damn Murray Bridge office still hasn't sent me the work I have to finish off so it's been another quiet day. Which isn't bad, considering the weekend was rather hectic.

Mum and Dad arrived on Friday at around 4pm so I left work early to go home and spend time with them. We went and had dinner at the golf club which was really nice. It was a really nice day outside so we sat out on the patio and had our dinner. We played the pokies for a little while, went home and stayed up chatting until 11pm (which for my parents is a late night). It was so wonderful to just sit and talk with them, we never really get a chance to do that so it was good. Mostly the conversation centred around Maria and how she was still quite depressed about things.

On Saturday Mum and I went and did my washing and did some grocery shopping and then by the time we got home Maria and Grandma had arrived for the day. After they relaxed for a bit we went clothes shopping and I actually managed to find about 8 outfits. That never happens! And although the scales tell me I haven't lost any weight yet (grr!) I think I may have lost some centimetres as I've dropped a dress size, w00t! We went home and had a late lunch, then I coloured Maria's hair. While we had some time to ourselves she was telling me that she'd started talking to a new guy. I don't know whether this is good or bad, she needs to get over Nick but this is rather fast and I'm afraid she'll latch onto this new guy even if he is a total loser. She hadn't told Mum and Dad yet, so I dunno, maybe it's nothing.

Before I knew where the time had gone, Maria and Grandma headed home and Mum, Dad and I had a quiet night in just watching the football. The Sunday was quite hectic as we really wanted to go and check out Renmark, so we were up and out the door quite early. We spent some time driving around the town which was so lovely, it's a really beautiful town. It is slightly busier than Berri in that it has one set of traffic lights as opposed to the zero we have! We checked out the riverbank then headed to a Greek festival that was on. That was pretty ordinary though, so we weren't there long before we headed back to Berri. On the way we also stopped into the Big Orange (excitement plus) and Bredl's Reptile Park. That was pretty cool as anyone that knows me knows I love reptiles, but it was quite interesting. There were other animals there too. Kangaroos, Emus, Deer, Goats, Geese, all of which pretty much had this open terrain. The Wedge-Tailed Eagles were my favourite animal in their rather large enclosure. All the reptiles had beautiful setups. But then you see the monkeys which were in these small enclosures looking really unhappy. Was quite sad, but interesting to see where the keeper's real priorities lie!

Mum and Dad left at around 2pm and I then breathed a sigh of relief. It was great to have them stay, I had a wonderful time, but after a while their fussing gets rather annoying.

Even though I spoke to Ivan last night on the phone, I still missed him like mad without seeing him for the weekend and am feeling rather homesick today.

That's about it really.

Bad days

I was going to write and say how it seemed everyone had a bad day yesterday but after waking up this morning and hearing about the terrorist attack in Spain, it seems we should all be thankful for our lives. The little problems we face each day are nothing compared to what's going on in the world lately. Really scary times.

Warped sense of humour

I don't know why I found this classified funny, but I did. Spotted it today.

Date Placed: 11/3/2004
Wanted: Stolen motor vehicle returned, please
Pale yellow XF Falcon stn wagon, UZL 411 stolen Tues 9 March. Has (or had!) built-in chrome roof rack, sun visor,drivers side weathershield,towbar,UHF aerial. ANY information leading to the return of vehicle and contents would be gratefully appreciated

This makes me look busy!

Oh man, the last couple of days at work have been so quiet and I have next to nothing to do right now, so am killing some time and making myself look busy by doing this blog. My boss is in Adelaide, another lady who gives me things to do is sick, and the Murray Bridge office haven't sent me the data they said they would, so I am sitting here emailing and reading the paper online. This job at least isn't stressful.

Well the weekend came and went so fast again, I can't believe we're a week into March! I'm not sure how effective my day with Maria was in terms of her cheering up. We went and had lunch at Brighton then went to Marion for some retail therapy, we spent heaps of time talking and I tried my best to drum it into her that she should be grateful this is over, that she can use this opportunity to find someone else, etc. But I don't know. It's been 3 weeks since it happened and she still can't talk about anything else nor can she stop crying for a day. But we did have a nice day together, and she bought herself some things which hopefully cheer her up.

In other news I'm planning a trip to Townsville just after my birthday in June to party with Sammo and Para since I didn't get to last year for their birthdays and I am so excited about it! I just need to save some money for it, but I've started doing that and am restricting some of my spending. Ivan and I also want to finally start saving for a house and that's my top priority but hopefully I get to do both :)

The fitness thing is still going well. Each morning I want to go back to sleep but I make myself get up and work out. On the weekend I got a Yoga DVD and book so now after work I go home and do that before dinner. Yoga is bloody hard, I am so inflexible, but I'll keep at it. And then I also get on the bike for a while as I'm watching tv shows after dinner. I hope the phrase "working my ass off" will apply in this case.

Time for a random rambling. I want the Queer Eye guys to come and make me over, buy me new furniture and some cool clothes.

Good news or bad?

Well my sister and her fiancee have broken up again, and I don't know whether I should be happy or not. From past blog entries you'll notice I don't like the guy, but she's so heartbroken that I feel so bad for her. She's the type of person who gives 100% of herself to people she loves and will do anything for them, will look past their flaws and therefore leaves nothing for herself. This makes her a beautiful person but unfortunately a target for people who will take advantage of that and then cast her aside, leaving her utterly heartbroken.

I think in the long run, this is for the best, but I know that this will take Maria some years to get over. She really doesn't deserve people like this, and I hope she finds someone who will treat her the way she should be treated soon. She gets herself depressed because some of her friends are married with kids already, but not everyone is. But she lets this get to her.

I feel so bad for her and I fear that she will go back to him again and end up here again in a few months time. I hope she doesn't go back. The worst part is that she blames herself, like she wasn't good enough or something. Truth is she tried to help the guy as much as she could and should not feel like she is at fault.

I think the worst thing out of all of this is that even after being engaged to someone it's almost as if he feels no sadness at all. At all. Apparently they broke up just after Valentine's Day although I didn't find out until the weekend. And already hes "advertised" himself in the paper twice. I hope the advert read the truth, being something like 36 year old male who lives with his mother seeks female to walk all over. I don't drive, will never get you a drink, I won't even wash my own clothes. I will be disinterested at any special family event, may even fall asleep on the sofa. I'll be a fat slob but have a go at you any chance I get for the way you look, and will dump you if you cut your hair too short. Guaranteed to treat you like shit!

I harbour a few ill feelings towards him, can you tell?

Headache from hell

I don't know if it's these early mornings, exercising too much, eating some crazy food or this weather that won't make up its mind, but my head is aching. Has been there for the last day or two and won't go away!

This morning when the alarm went off I almost fell back to sleep, thinking I'd just work out another day, but then talked myself out of that idea, reminding myself that it hasn't even been a week yet. And a girl from work who lives across the road and I have been going for walks every so often, so that's been good too. Tonight I'm going grocery shopping and buying actual good food so I'm not snacking on all sorts of things. We'll see how things go. Thanks to those that have supported me so far :)

Weekend was good, went too fast as usual. Work's been busy now, and maybe that's helped my headache along too. Who knows. But I probably shouldn't have written a blog when I'm so unfocussed.

I don't know what to make of my next door neighbour. He is married with a child but is always coming over just to see how I am. I am pretty sure it's innocent, I think he just worries about me because I'm on my own. Last night I could have sworn I was talking to my mother the way he was asking if I'd eaten dinner and had some vegetables. But occasionally I just get this shiver of creepiness. Probably doesn't help I watch CSI and get all scared.

I'd better go. This rambling has become the most random I think it's ever been.

And this time, I mean it!

I really truly am sick of my weight. For months now I've been trying and have stayed static at this appalling state, and so now it's time I go crazy with exercise. I'm writing this here so people can remind me if I start to slack off how bad I'll feel when I don't lose weight. It's always in the back of my mind and my self-confidence is low because of it, so now it's time for some real action.

Now that the hot weather has subsided I've started walking to work again, and for the last couple of mornings I've been getting up early to do aerobics, and I plan to do that 5 days a week. I'm already eating a bit better now that I've moved. This has to change, am tired of feeling like a blimp.

So, if I start to slack off, please remind me that I'm doing this for my own happiness (in the nicest possible way, no yelling :P )

KTHXBYE!

Boredom

Well, I've finished the mountain of filing I had to do and now have nothing to do until people come back from a meeting after lunch! So thought I'd bore you all with an update.

I had Friday off work, got into Adelaide at around 1:30pm, did a bit of running around and then relaxed for the rest of the afternoon. Incidentally, after my shower Friday morning the fake tan wasn't visible anywhere except on the palms of my hands. Oh goodie. On Saturday morning I got up early and went for a pedicure, then the hairdresser came over. You know priorities are wrong when you spend your money on beauty products instead of on food.

The wedding wasn't until 4pm, and unfortunately it was raining. I didn't mind, I prefer wet weather to the scorching heat we had the week before, but it sorta stuffed up the couple's plans for photos and walking across the lawn to get to the church wasn't much fun. The ceremony was short but sweet, and Virginia looked gorgeous. The reception was at 7pm, so we went home in between. We were on a table with Peter, Paul and Casey which was good, but the rest of the table were funny at times, very strange at others. Basically, it was the drama table. First this girl broke her chair within being there 15 minutes, although I don't think that was her fault, she was just unlucky. Then the same girl started arguing with her ex who was at the same table, stormed out a couple of times, spilled many drinks and so on and so forth. And her ex was rather strange as well, taking some extremely unusual photos during the course of the night. Was an interesting bunch, let's just say that.

The reception finished quite early, I think it was around 11:30pm so I got a relatively early night, and then Sunday I spent the day hungover and tired anyway. I left Adelaide around 5pm and got home, unpacked, went grocery shopping then went to bed after logging on. That's about it in a nutshell.

Hope you all had a good weekend. This weekend will be the first one I have nothing planned, might go to the movies or dinner or something with the man.

Ciao.

Wedding bells

No, don't be silly, not my wedding bells! This weekend is Virginia and Ash's wedding, and I am so looking forward to it. The weather is expected to be a bit cooler, I've known the girl for about 8 years and it is so exciting to see her getting married! In honour of this occasion I'm taking tomorrow off work as a flexi to get into Adelaide earlier and do some last minute things before Saturday. Saturday will be pretty full-on, even though the wedding is only at 4pm because I'm getting my hair done and a pedicure in the morning. Anyone would think it was my big day, but hey, a girl needs some pampering.

I have very white skin, which sucks because when I go into the sun I burn, peel, and then go back to being white again, I can never seem to get a tan. So to look nice (or try to) I got some sample packs from my beauty therapist for some self-tan and tried to put it on this morning. Tried being the key word. The tops of my legs look great, shame I'm not wearing bathers to the wedding to show them off, but the rest turned out not-so-good. Well, it's not the worst effort I've ever made. When I was a bridesmaid at Michelle's wedding my legs turned out so streaky it wasn't funny. This time they're not streaky, but my knees and heels look too dark. So tomorrow I'm gonna scrub them, and then will probably end up with pure white knees and heels. Hehehe, it's gonna be great! Plus it don't smell so good. Meant to be nice and citrusy but the smell is making me sick. Nice. Well, end of that particular random rambling, let's move on.

This week has been officially called "filing week" for me as I've done little else. I had a data request yesterday but that was about the only thing I did differently. Am glad that I'm having the day off tomorrow for more reasons than one. I had my first sick day on Tuesday, not getting out of bed until around 4pm. Had a massive headache, and I blame the weeks of heat and not enough sleep. Felt much better after the day in bed though.

Hmm, not much else has been happening. Oh wait, yes there has. My sister's idiot boyfriend/fiancee has struck again. This time, he ditched her on Valentine's Day. One of Maria's friends Kaye was having a bbq for her birthday on that day, and Nick didn't go because "Kaye didn't go to his birthday party". The reason Kaye didn't go to his is because her dad was in hospital. And Mr. Petty Asshole therefore decided he wasn't going, and therefore wasn't seeing Maria on that day. She was so upset, and I can't say I blame her. I wish she had the strength to leave him for good. Sure, I've complained about her sometimes but I love my sister and she deserves a lot better.

Anyway, had better get going. I'm typing this from work and I wanted to do a few more things before I left for the week. Hope everyone has a great weekend. I plan to get plastered at the reception :D

Hot in the City

Oh man, I need to move to Hobart or something to escape this heat. It has been constant for a couple of weeks now and I can't stand the heat, I've just always been that way. Give me rain any day. And why did I move to Berri of all places, where it's always a few degrees warmer than in Adelaide? Ah that's right, desperation for a job will get you applying anywhere :P

So, it was Valentine's Day on the weekend. Ivan and I have never really been into Valentine's Day, it's one of those silly events I think - if you want to give someone a gift or something, you should do that on any day, not only on this one day the world tells you to. So we'd pre-arranged not to get each other anything and just to play it by ear on the day to see what we wanted to do. And just aswell, because that was the hottest day over the weekend and I certainly didn't feel like doing a thing. I had a waxing and facial appointment in the morning and then when I got home we just veged out and did nothing. Played a little bit of Desert Combat, caught up on a lot of dvd watching and tried to keep cool. Even though we did nothing the weekend was really exhausting because we couldn't even get a decent night's sleep, the house was just so hot. Ugh!

Sunday we popped into Nicole and Peter's for a brief visit because Nicole had her baby 4 months ago and I still hadn't been to see her. We only stayed for about half an hour though, then I pretty much headed back to Berri. I was supposed to go to the drive-ins with this girl Bronwyn from work but when I got home and it was still 41C we both decided to can that idea and stay home. I tried sleeping in the lounge on my new sofa bed with the air conditioner on but I kept having scary dreams and getting cold and then hot, so didn't really get a good night's sleep.

Back at work today, getting through this huge amount of filing I've had to do. And I mean huge, no exaggeration, I'm talking thousands of sheets of paper to file. Oh yeah, it's been a blast. It's wierd though, even when I'm doing something like filing I still love my job.

So, on to a random rambling. Do you get those songs that as soon as you hear them they remind you of something in your life? And it doesn't have to be hugely significant, it could just be a few laughs with friends but every time you hear the song you either laugh or cry because of the memories it brings. Well, on the drive home I put in this mixed CD Ivan made me for my 21st birthday a few years ago. It just had all these songs I'd picked out, some were older songs, some were new at the time. Anyway, remember that song 500 Miles by the Proclaimers? Well, I had that on there, and it just made me smile from ear to ear when I heard it. It always reminds me of when Elita, Kelly and I went to Miriam's 21st, and she had this Karaoke machine, and no one was getting up to sing so the three of us went and sang that song. And we sounded atrocious, and Ivan, Cerina and Claire looked on in horror but damn, we had a lot of fun. And even though it wasn't the first time I'd sung Karaoke, it's the only one that I really remember, and it makes my heart smile. Amazing what music can do.

Weekly news

The week since I last updated has really flown!

Work is still great - fun lunches with friends, enjoyable work, I really can't complain. Friday night I went to Adelaide and had a nice quiet night with Ivan watching the cricket and catching up on tv shows I'd missed. On Saturday there was a little running around to do and Michelle popped by with her Dad which was nice, then Saturday night I was off to Virginia's hen's night (bachelorette party to those that don't know the slang). We went to dinner first, then went to a cocktail bar, and then went to a nightclub, and it was a pretty good night. I was a bit nervous beforehand because I only knew a couple of the people there but I ended up having a great night.

Went to bed at about 3am, it's been a while since I've been up so late so I think all these days later I'm still recovering. Sunday was relaxed again and then I got home Sunday night to find a few more spiders had emerged :P

I'm finally able to connect to the internet at home but can't get into Cogs, as my connection is hanging around only 30 Kb/s and so I'm limited to chatting in trillian, so if anyone reads this and wants to chat, you need to log on msn or icq :P

Dad came to visit me yesterday, he was going to stay overnight but that didn't end up happening because he had to go back to work today and he would have been too tired, but it was nice to see him anyway.

Had better get back to work. Byeeee!

Down time

Right now I haven't got much to do at work and so I thought I'd take the opportunity to update a bit.

The weekend was really good, so much so that on Sunday I was thinking I didn't want to come back. I do love my work and love the people I work with, but being home was really great and I wanted to stay there. I mean, we didn't even have to do anything special, it was just nice to have Ivan there even if we were just chatting.

It was also fun to get into some gaming again, not that we could do that online with only a modem but our competative natures were exercised by playing some Monopoly Tycoon - a game that usually results in an argument, but we got through it with me only swearing once. The problem is we're both quite stubborn when it comes to this game and hold onto our properties for dear life. If you've never played it then beware, it's dangerous (but good fun).

Saturday night we had Nick's birthday which wasn't too bad. The food was good even if he is a buffoon (hope he never sees this!). The family was all a bit miffed that he wasn't sitting with Maria the whole night, although she didn't seem to mind because she had a bunch of her friends there too so she just spent her night catching up with them.

On Sunday I just cleaned up a bit and had a total veg-out day in front of the tv, probably is another reason why it made it difficult to gear up for the drive home. I got home just as it was getting dark, unpacked and then relaxed some more.

Soon as I came back to work on Monday I was happy again after being sad about leaving Adelaide. Each day I get closer with people and am enjoying doing some real work. Yesterday we all went out for lunch at the golf club and on the drive home the carload of people I went with decided we all go on a bit of a tour of Berri. We ended up having an hour and a half for lunch, hehe!

Had better get back to it. But before I do, I just wanted to wish Emmy a Happy 21st Birthday for tomorrow, because I don't know if I'll get a chance to update this again before then. I don't think she comes here anymore but if Sammo or someone can point her in this direction that'd be great. I know it's not much, but happy birthday girly :)

My own personal version of Settlers

Well, as you can imagine, it has been a full-on week. On Friday we moved everything up to Berri. Ivan and I got here about 10am to meet the Real Estate Agent to get my keys for the new place, then we went to buy me a fridge and arrange delivery. My parents weren't coming until about 5pm, but thankfully they managed to squeeze everything into the truck and we got a lot of things unpacked on the Friday night, despite exhaustion towards the end.

On Saturday Ivan left pretty early and then mum, dad and I went shopping for a few things we'd forgotten about the day before. We continued to move things in and then they left mid afternoon, leaving me all alone for the first time. I unpacked a few more things and then was bored out of my mind for the remainder of the weekend. Monday was probably the better day because I went for a long walk and sat by the river for a while, then went to a Cafe for lunch and generally just had a great day.

I started work on Tuesday and am loving it. Although there have been a few hiccups, like not being able to access the licencing system yet, etc, the people I work with are fantastic and really friendly, and we're all going to the pub for lunch today :)

Now that work has started life has gotten into a normal routine again, and my days no longer drag on. I walk to and from work because it's so close, and then by the time I get home, have dinner and do the dishes, I either watch tv, talk on the phone or read and before I know it it's time for bed. The days are now flying and I'm a lot happier. I do miss Ivan a lot though, particularly the little things, just having him around to share a joke with or to chat to while I cooked dinner, stuff like that I miss.

But tonight I'll be leaving work a little early and driving back to Adelaide. Tomorrow is Nick's birthday so we have that to go to, and hopefully the rest of the weekend will be a nice rest. We still have no real internet connection in Adelaide so I rely on checking my email and stuff at work, so thought I'd better update now before I left for the city.

Hope everyone is well, miss chatting to you all.

Stuff and nonsense

I don't have much to write but seeing as I won't be back at work until Tuesday after today and I don't know if I'll be logging on this weekend yet, I thought I'd better update. Tomorrow I leave for Berri and my stomach is just in knots thinking about it. Like I said last entry, I'm really excited but also kinda sad, so it's all a bit wierd for me. Ivan, Mum and Dad are staying over on Friday night and then I'll have 3 days to myself before I start in the new office.

In the last few days I've caught up with a couple of people before I leave, like Michelle and Misch which has been nice. I already have plans for most weekends coming up so I'll be back quite often at first. I have a birthday, a Hen's night, Valentine's Day and a wedding to come all within the next 4 weeks, so things will be a bit hectic, but at least it'll give me excuses to keep coming home and curbing my homesickness.

I've actually been able to relax the last few days, getting home from work and either having people over or just relaxing in front of the TV, so life is starting to get back to normal. Tonight all I have to do is pack a few saucepans and load up the car so that in the morning we can take off bright and early.

So, maybe this blog can start to be more about my thoughts and feelings soon like it used to be, rather than telling people mundane daily things. Sorry, but I've barely had time to think lately so haven't had exciting things to write about.

I get time to think on the train though, and I quite like the train because you get to observe people. Mostly every day I see new faces, but there's this one man who gets on every day with a little girl of about 2 years old in a pram, and I love watching them because they make my heart smile. I think he takes his girl to childcare and then goes to work because he's always on the peak-hour train. I just love the way he talks to her and plays with her, and when she laughs everyone around them smiles. I guess he reminds me of my dad, and that's why I like it so much, I don't know. Soppy girl stuff I guess.

One down...

Well, I'm sure glad the weekend is gone, it was just non-stop until yesterday afternoon. Friday Ivan and Darren moved most of the furniture but there were still lots of little things to go and collect, so straight after work I started on that. Then, ofcourse, you can't move everything into the new place all at once because when it's so small you need to put things away, so it was just crazy.

Saturday was the clean-up day. Mum and Maria helped me clean while Dad packed things into his car that I'll be taking to Berri with me. I was there from 7am and didn't make it home until about 4:30pm, crazy. How can one small place get so dirty?! The problem is they want you to do things you wouldn't normally do, like wiping out cupboards and cleaning windows - what sane person does this things on a regular cleaning cycle? It's just abnormal. And because we've been burned by landlords badly in the past we wanted everything to look great so they couldn't possibly argue with us about anything. Fingers crossed we get our bond back without all the hassle we had last time.

Sunday was just the last few things picked up and a final quick mop around the place and it wasn't too bad a day, although we did have a lot of things at the new place to sort out. So that's one move down, one to go. I just hope all my things fit in the truck to Berri and into our cars, it would suck if they didn't and I had to do a couple of trips. I've officially gotten Friday off work so I'll be leaving bright and early in the morning.

The rest of this week will be spent catching up with a few people before I leave and packing things for myself in the meantime. I look forward to finally being settled in and really starting my new job, but now that it's getting closer I'm also getting really sad. I'm gonna miss Ivan heaps :(

Anywho, will keep updating from work when I get the chance. Thanks for the cool SMS's and phone calls over the weekend, they helped to break the dullness of moving :)

No idea what to call this

Moving day here in Adelaide today, although we started last night after we picked up the keys. You know things are crazy when you have dinner at 10pm! Our house is sort of half empty at the moment, this morning there was no tv to watch and very little room to sit down on, but we have so many things it's not funny. I've thrown so many things away, it's amazing how much crap a person can accumulate in a short space of time. So tonight, we'll hopefully finish off the moving and set up the bedroom and kitchen at least, and tomorrow will be the cleanup day of the old place. Ugh. I mentioned before how I hate packing, but I hate cleaning even more.

So that'll be our exciting weekend! Next Friday is my moving day to Berri (work has been kind enough to give me a day off). I've already arranged for my phone and electricity connection, so shouldn't have anything much to worry about as the day draws closer. I already have my new phone number, good old Telstra :) So maybe, in about two weeks I'll feel settled again. I'm a little nervous about starting in the Berri office and starting to meet new people again. Everyone here in the Adelaide office have been really great, and now I gotta start again. At least I'll have my own desk to decorate :)

Had better go and start work, hope everyone is well!

Congratulations

Just a quick note to say congrats to Sammo on landing a full-time job to tide him over until uni goes back, well done matey! I knew 2004 would be a better year for you :)

On a side note, I think I've found a place in Berri too. The family and I went up to Berri for a day trip on Saturday and I spotted a place I totally love, so sent off my application for it yesterday. Unless I get a really bad reference from someone, I think it's pretty much mine, as no one else was going for it and it's just sitting there empty. So if all goes well, I'll be moving to Berri in just under 2 weeks. I'll be relieved when all this moving is over and done with. I despise packing and poor Ivan has had to do almost all of it, I really should get my arse into gear.

Work is still going great. The training is over now and this week I'm actually doing real work so it's much more fun this week.

Also just a heads-up that because we're moving house here in Adelaide this weekend, Ivan and I will be offline for approximately a week until our ADSL gets connected again. I can still be contacted through email, and will update this site from work when I can, but you won't see me on MSN for a while (not that you've seen me on MSN much lately anyway).

Anywho, end of announcements. Hope I worded everything well in this blog, seems I have a blog Nazi :P

History

I was thinking recently of all the historical things a person sees in their lifetime. I mean, recently there haven't been any World Wars, we here have been really lucky that those things that have happened haven't effected us directly, but we've still seen some major historical events recently. My Grandma often tells me stories of what happened to them back in Yugoslavia during World War II, and although I've never lived through anything so drastic, it's kinda cool to have things to tell your own grandchildren about.

The main event that springs to mind is ofcourse the attack on the World Trade Centre, and I think we all remember where we were when we first heard about that. Stemming from that we've now seen the fall of Saddam Hussein's regime, which is a huge thing when you think about all the years he's been in power.

I think sometimes we get so caught up in our own lives we forget to stop and see what's happening around us. But we should all take note and remember these things, so if nothing else we'll have our own cool stories to tell.

Busy Times

Things have been really crazy here and that's why I haven't had a chance to update this blog, so will just run down what I've been doing in a nutshell.

New Year's Eve wasn't bad, just had a few people over and while the boys played computer games Christine and I watched movies and had some drinks. Poor thing though, she'd had to work two jobs that day and had been up since 6am, so she kept dozing off and so it wasn't an overly exciting night for me, but it still wasn't bad.

After New Year's, Ivan and I knuckled down in finding a new place here in Adelaide, while I kept searching for places in Berri. Our spare time was spent looking up places, chasing up real estate agents, and filling out applications. We just signed the papers on a place not far from here on Wednesday night so we move in next Friday, so our time now is being spent packing things up, although I have to admit I'm a lot more slack in doing that. I despise packing.

I've started my new job, training here in Adelaide, and I'm absolutely loving it. Have already spent a day in the field, met lots of great people and I've learnt an incredible amount of things. It's funny, my friend Jun is very anti-government employees and now I am the enemy. Makes me laugh when I think of that. Greg has helped me to find a place in Berri and this weekend I'm gonna go fill out the application, so it looks like I'll be moving there in a couple of weeks. I still have to apply for the place, but I think it's pretty much mine if I want it.

That's about it in a nutshell. I had better go and start some work.