PMS is a bitch

Am feeling really emotional today, and yes, it's probably PMS. That, coupled with the fact I have put on almost a kilo this week despite doing way more exercise than normal. My fat self is so pathetic. That, tripled with having to travel from one crappy job to the next for the next few days. Oh, and Gavin, being our old store manager, is working now at the place I'm relieving at, and you know what the first thing he said to me was? "You still haven't got another job yet?" and then he scoffed! Bastard. Way to up someone's self worth. So, there's that, quadrupled with the reminder that I'm no longer involved in some people's lives. If it weren't for mutual friends I'd have no idea what has happened with them lately, and it's sad that, one person in particular, used to contact me a few times a day and now nothing. Sad to see good friendships go the wayside. That, whatever the fifth multiple is, multiplied by knowing that Ivan has had a bad day too and doesn't want to talk about it, which makes me feel bad because I worry about him. And finally, icing on the cake, I really never wanted to get this emotional so publicly but was gonna burst.

But yeah, I'm sure it's just PMS.

Toadie rules

Been a busy couple of days. I've gotten over my cold now and the weather has been beautiful so I've been trying to make the most of it while it lasts.

Now that the finals are here for the footy I've been getting into it a bit more again. On Saturday we had a couple of friends over for the games, had some pizza, beer and just a great time. I went and picked my car up that morning so was in a great mood to start with. So good to have it back!

My sister is in a group called Project Dolphin Safe and they were doing some tree planting and rubbish removal around the Port River on Sunday so I went along to help out. The guy that plays Toadie in Neighbours, Ryan whatever, was there and Maria and I got our photo taken with him. Not that either of us are really into the show but just for a bit of a laugh. Apparently he's a committee member, not that he lives in the state or anything, and my sister has certainly never seen him at any committee meetings. We wondered whether he'd actually do any work or just stand in the shade of the tent all day, but after our morning break he did actually get his hands dirty and helped out. More than I can say for his chick though, lazy sod. Anyway, Maria and I had a great day, I reckon together we planted about 80 trees, the whole group doing over 1000 they said. On the way back home we stopped off at a couple of places along the Port River to see if we could spot any dolphins but had no luck. Port Adelaide is a really weird place to visit for me. Being a Port there's a lot of industry around there and it has so much tradition it's almost like stepping back in time. I can picture myself there 100 years ago waving off steam ships and the like. But then, I'm a freak, so never mind.

Then the weekdays arrived, and it's back to work. And this week, because Bilo is so wonderful at planning ahead for when people go on holidays, I've gotta fill in at another store and travel between the two. It means a little extra money but a hell of a lot more hassle, so not really worth it. Meh. Stupid Bilo. As down as I am about it, still been filling in lots of job applications last few days. Can't give up I suppose.

Oh, and how good was the Brownlow Medal last night?!?! 3 winners, what a treat! My main reason for watching the Brownlow is to see what the player's wives and girlfriends are wearing. Nathan Buckley's wife is hideous, I don't see the big deal about her. I think we women like awards shows because we imagine being on the arm of someone there. I asked Ivan if guys imagine being with the girls there, and he said they just imagine undressing them afterwards. Probably a true realisation.

Anyway, had better go, bored you long enough as it is. This weather has been so nice lately, it's inspired me to get my fat ass away from the couch and go for walks. So please stay, nice weather! Mel needs you!

Unwanted

I'm just going to copy and paste a conversation had with my friend Jun tonight, sums up perfectly how I'm feeling at the moment and I won't need to type it all out again. So here goes, and, for those a little slow on the uptake, we're talking about job applications.

[20:43] Jun: still looking at the apps?
[20:44] Mel: yeah, i have a lot of them to do this weekend
[20:44] Mel: i don't know why i bother
[20:45] Jun: because....
[20:45] Jun: you want work that actually uses your field of study?
[20:45] Mel: well yeah, but sick of rejection letters
[20:45] Mel: i obviously suck
[20:45] Jun: no
[20:45] Jun: it's just that
[20:46] Mel: is hard to think you're good at something when all you hear is how you're not good enough
[20:46] Jun: your field is a rather narrow and underfunded one, you know?
[20:46] Jun: populated with bean counters and desk jockeys
[20:46] Mel: at first i told myself that, now i've given up
[20:46] Mel: the amount of time and energy i put into these applications i could be doing something useful
[20:47] Jun: but it IS useful
[20:47] Mel: no it isn't, gets me nowhere
[20:47] Jun: like what else are you gonna do?
[20:47] Jun: watch TV?
[20:47] Mel: exercise, get skinny, go for walks, plant a tree, anything
[20:47] Jun: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
[20:47] Jun: at night?
[20:47] Mel: read a book, i love reading, never get time
[20:48] Jun: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
[20:48] Jun: I like reading too
[20:48] Mel: i don't just do these at night :-(
[20:48] Jun: but I only read trash novels
[20:48] Jun: so big waste of time there
[20:48] Jun: look
[20:48] Mel: heh
[20:48] Jun: once you get a job,
[20:48] Jun: then you can do all those instead of writing
[20:48] Jun: apps
[20:48] Mel: IF i get a job, you mean
[20:49] Jun: WHEN you get a job, I mean
[20:49] Mel: excellent, in 5 years time i'll get to read, if i'm lucky
[20:49] Jun: I have faith in the Melness
[20:49] Mel: i don't

SOMEONE HIRE ME FFS!!!!!

*sniff*

I just can't shake this damned cold. At least my throat isn't sore anymore but now I sound even more nasal than I normally do. Can't stop sneezing or sniffing. Yesterday was my rostered day off but today I rang up sick, just didn't fancy sneezing and spluttering my way through the day. We already have a lack of customers, didn't want to drive any more away with my germs.

But I've vowed to not let the entire day be a waste. I plan to complete some job applications today and get them sent off. Even though it looks like work is going to give me a promotion soon, I'm gonna keep looking for something else. Haven't studied so many years to stay at a supermarket. In the meantime, hey, if they want to pay me more money that's great, but it's not going to entice me to stay. So will at least spend an hour or so doing that, so as not to waste the whole day.

The only thing that sucks about throwing a sickie is having to go to the doctor for a certificate. I remember the good old days when the Medicare system actually worked and you didn't have to pay up front to see the doctor. I know within a couple of weeks most of it is sent back to you, but when you're on a very strict budget like me, being out of pocket for two weeks sucks.

Anyway, enough ranting and raving like a lunatic. Anyone would think I was stricken with fever the way I'm carrying on.

*sniff*

Happy Birthday, Mum!

Today is my Mum's 49th Birthday, and even though she will never see this as she doesn't even know how to turn a computer on, I wanted everyone out there to know how much she means to me and I wanted to say Happy Birthday publicly.

I will admit I have gotten frustrated and annoyed with my parents from time to time, but they both have done everything just to make our lives better. They flew us across the world to where they didn't know the language to give us kids a better life and more opportunities than they had, they made sure we were well fed before they got food for themselves, they worked their asses off to get us not only a decent roof over our heads but to buy us kids anything we desired. The list of things they've done for us is phenomenal. Even today, when we're all grown up and independent, and I'm living away from home, they do everything to help us out. Meals, money, anything to make our lives easier. They know I love them and appreciate them, but maybe I should do more to let them know how important they are to me.

So, on days like today, I think a lot about what they've done for me, how they've shaped me to be the person I am, and I try to make their day as happy and loving as I can. So, to cut a long story short, I love you Mum, and hope you have a great birthday.

Commence preparations

My car finally goes in to the mechanic's tomorrow to get fixed, although he reckons it will take a week and a half, which is a bit dodgy but hey, it's a mechanic. And I'm not paying for it, so I don't care.

But because I have no car, Ivan has to take me to work, which means getting up before midday, which for him, is a huge feat. To ease some of the early morning suffering temper tantrums that will no doubt occur, he has been trying to teach me to drive a manual so that I can drive myself to work using his car on those especially early mornings. Well, been wanting to learn for a while, but now is a good time to. Only had one brief lesson so far, and I certainly won't be driving myself anywhere, but we have commenced preparations.

I intended to write much more but it has taken me an hour to write this little piddly blog as it is, due to chatting, so will say stuff it and come back another day.

Worst. Entry. Ever.

Remind me

Remind me never to do certain things again. Like, looking through the pantry, deciding to clean it out and so having something gross for dinner. I bought this pack of felafel mix a while ago to give it a try. I've had felafels before and thought they were great, so in a very unwise move, thought a packet mix could be just as good, if not better. What should have happened was that I should have left it in the cupboard so it was past its use-by date and then I could have just thrown it out without subjecting myself to its hideous flavours.

By simply making up the mix, I should have known something wouldn't be right. The smells of all the spices should have been a warning. But no, I persevered, stinking out the house in the process. Once cooked, I took a bite and thought 'that wasn't so bad'. Until I swallowed and the after-taste hit me. Ok, well, I needed something to eat for dinner, and these were already cooked so I had to try and drown out the taste. Well, the tomatos and cream cheese just weren't powerful enough. The result? Felafels go in the bin, Mel is still hungry but is feeling too sick to put anything more in her mouth.

Remind me never to do that again.

Theme of the month

It appears that in all of my entries I have nothing much to discuss, this is again one of those times. I don't know what it is with me lately, but I'm feeling very unimaginative and uncreative. I tend to think of things to write about when I am stuck in traffic or daydreaming at work or something. Mostly it's things I've observed, I am a big fan of observing other people. I like to see the way people behave, how they treat other people, etc. I think this is one of the reasons I like reality TV so much lately. Used to hate it more than I hate, well, something I loathe (couldn't think of an example). My latest show is the Amazing Race, on a bit late for my liking but really interesting to see how couples/friends/workmates treat each other under pressure. Then I think about when, the other night at dinner, mum's schnitzel arrived a little late and that was the end of the world as far as my parents were concerned. A hot "debate" followed where dad reminded mum she was not the only customer that night and mum retorted by, well, no retort, just yelling. Would love to see those two trying to decide which plane would be the best to take and who does which task a-la The Amazing Race. Now that would make interesting viewing.

So moving on from that, here's something I hate. When a so-called support person replies to your technical question with an answer that belittles you, removing all blame from them and basically pointing out that you must be a raving lunatic. Let me explain. After 4 days of my Comments on this site being broken, I emailed said support staff at the site that hosts the comments. When I load up IE the next day, lo and behold, it seems to be fixed. So I check my email, telling myself how brilliant I am for notifying them of the problem and how surely I must have received some wonderful gift. Alas, no. The email waiting for me said only this, and I quote - "I have just been to your website and your comments seem to be working fine". Apparently, there has been nothing wrong for 4 entire days. Apparently it was all in my head. And yes, if you noticed it too, apparently it was all in your head. A simple "We apologise, there was a problem with our [insert technical garb here] which has now been fixed" would have sufficed. But no, these people apparently have never heard of customer service. Ok Mel, breathe deeply, calm down....

And, right this second, just got another rejection letter for a job in my email. Yep, life is grand. *sigh*

Could this be the end?

I feel like I'm in T3 with all this computer bizo going wacko. Yo. The site that hosts my comments has been down for 3 days and counting, and blogger seems to be stuffing up a wee bit too so not sure if this will work.

Work. Yes, work has been really crazy lately. And this weekend, well, this entire next week, is going to be crazy aswell. My cousin and his wife from QLD (the pair in the snake photo) are visiting for a week or so and we're catching up with them a little, as well as other things, all at once.

Well, nothing interesting to say, don't even know if this will update properly. Use the force, Mel....

Funny news stories

The other day I read a short article in the newspaper which, while tragic, made me laugh, so thought I'd share the gist of it here.

Basically, it was about this teenager who was fishing with his parents, I forget where, and was holding this fish he caught. It slithered out of his hands, jumped into his mouth and lodged into his throat. Unfortunately, the kid died from suffocation, because the fish had these spines which meant it couldn't be dislodged. I know, this is tragic, and I am awful for finding it funny, but it some way it just seemed so incredible that it's funny.

Ok, so I'm twisted. Now you know, don't act surprised if I say something crazy to you next time.

So, moving right along. This hasn't been updated so much lately because I haven't been feeling the best and spend a lot of time asleep it seems. And then, when I am online, it is rather limited and this isn't my top priority anymore like it was when it was new and exciting. Forgive me, oh great internet gods. I prmoise to be more faithful in the future.

Ok, time for sleep again.

"Friends"

No, this entry is not about the TV sitcom.

Lately I've been feeling that I have what some people term "toxic" friends. I don't like to use the word "toxic", it makes it sound as though these people live in Chernobyl and have three eyes. I know it's supposed to refer to the way the people poison your soul and crap like that, but the people I'm thinking of don't do that. Perhaps a better term would be "part-time" friends. I mean, people that, at first, are like your best friend, then slowly they drift away, and then you find they only contact you if something's bothering them, they need advice, etc etc. You know, people that use your good nature basically. You're great if they have a problem, need a different perspective on things, stuff like that, but in general day to day hellos and how are yous, they can't be bothered.

I think everyone knows people like this. I just hope that I'm not unknowingly like that with some people.

I don't know what made me think of this, I guess I'm just in one of those reflective moods after going out for lunch with the girls. After 24 years, I really don't have many "real" friends. Maybe a person doesn't need a whole heap, just a few wonderful friends. Meh.

So, anyway, how funny was that episode when Joey put on all of Chandlers clothes and did lunges?

God hates me

Why is it that life just can't seem to run smoothly? You know, just when you're in a happy routine and all seems well, something's gotta happen in your life to stuff you around.

Yesterday Ivan borrowed my car for a very short trip to the post office because it was at the back of the driveway, and it doesn't matter how careful you personally are on the roads, there are always other idiots about. He's coming home and some idiot pulls out of a carpark straight into the side of the car. Luckily Ivan is fine. The damage to my car isn't as bad as it could be, I'm lucky I can still drive the car around and there is no engine damage. But I'm just upset and worried. This other guy seems a bit dodgy and I'm afraid he'll do a runner. I mean, my insurance company should, in theory, be the ones to track him down, but a similar situation that happened to Ivan a few years ago resulted in the other person successfully getting away. And, while it's not so bad, I'm upset because this is the first car I bought on my own. It was brand new just two years ago when I bought it, and I haven't even finished paying it off yet. I'll just feel so much better when it's fixed and paid for. Fucking life.

On Tuesday Ivan and I had our 4 year anniversary, but, get this, we both forgot. Yep, both of us. In fact, I wasn't even home for most of that day. Maybe I've joined too many committees when I don't even see my boyfriend on our anniversary.

Apart from the crap yesterday, the week was looking not too bad. But I just can't seem to stop worrying about it, even though I know I shouldn't because it won't help in any way. But it's my nature to worry. Tomorrow: tax accountant. Let's hope the government have found an error in all my previous tax assessments and realised they actually owe me $50 000 or something. Why did I pick that amount? Well, asking for any more would be too much of a dream, so maybe, hoping for less, it will actually come true. Hmm, think not.

Drive safe, people, and give way when you're supposed to! Word.

Ricky Fucking Martin

Oh God, Ricky Martin is in the country. God help us all.

Must he be on every television show I watch this week? And I don't watch that much tv, he just pops up everywhere it seems. And he's sooooo boring in an interview! As if we need to hear about how creative he apparently is and how he dares to be rediculous. Ugh.

Anyway, enough about that loser. I'm glad the weekend is here, feeling sick and going to work are not a good combination. Mind you, won't get too much rest this weekend, what with birthdays and dinners. And Pokemon on the Gameboy emulator. So very addictive for a girl that loves her Pokemon. Gotta catch them all....

Quick update

Nothing much to say, feeling a bit sick lately and so I haven't bothered writing. Nothing exciting has been happening anyway. Just working and doing job applications. What a gripping life I do lead. I love that line.

Oh, I did plant some trees for National Tree Day, hope you all did too. Lungs of the earth, after all. I think, deep down, I am a hippie. I mean, apart from their drug use, compulsive behaviour and free love, I think we're identical.

When pets are better looking than their owners

Take a look at the gecko I want to buy. Aren't they cuties??? Look at that cute little face, and that cute little tail, and those cute little spots! Can you tell I want this gecko really badly? I've found out I don't need a permit to keep one, but now I need to actually find one for sale. I've spent the last hour researching and emailing people who can help me. Probably not a good thing to put more energy into finding a gecko than finding a job, hehehe.

Oh, speaking of jobs, for those I haven't told, I got another rejection phone call on Monday. I hate those. But am feeling much more positive about things now so don't want to dwell on things too much.

The last few days have been great because I haven't had to go to work. I've had Trade Union training, yay! I love it because we get a free lunch and a fun time. Tomorrow is the last day, back to work on Friday unfortunately. I love gossiping and have had a chance to gossip about old workmates too, so it's been great all round :-)

That's all for now - geckos rule!

/Me wants reptiles!

And no, I don't mean a trouser snake.

On Friday night I went out with my friend Misch to a property near Strathalbyn, where we met up with a few other people and walked around in the dark listening for frogs. We waded in the creek, caught a couple just to see what they looked like (let them go, ofcourse) and then went back to the house and drank wine and relaxed. The lady whose property it is has a reptile house where she breeds and releases Murray Darling Carpet Pythons, so she let us in to have a look. I was in heaven. Wall to wall of Vivariums and Aquariums with not only Pythons but other snakes too, leaf insects, lizards and geckos. I realise it could be a while before I could ever keep a snake, but keeping a Gecko is much easier so that is now my goal.

Misch brought me home at around 11pm and stayed until 1:30am chatting and drinking coffee. Was a damn good night.

The rest of the weekend has been a normal weekend. There must be something in the air though because today I am doing a major clean. Aside from that, dreading work tomorrow as is usually the case.

So, apart from telling you what I've been up to the last few days, I don't really have anything exciting to write about, in terms of thoughts, observations, etc. Oh, but I will say this. How cool is it in the country looking up at the stars? The sky is just full of them, you can see tiny ones so far away. Never get to see things like that in the city. If only the country wasn't so boring and so far away from any broadband connection, it might just be okay.

Annoyances

If I hear one more thing about Delta Goodrem getting cancer on the news or radio I'm gonna go over there and beat her into remission. I know, anyone getting cancer is awful, but do we really need to hear about how the Neighbour's writers are gonna have a hard time? Do we need to hear a song of hers every hour (and she doesn't have that many) so we can hear the same dickhead at the radio station sending their best wishes? Perhaps it would be ok if at work I didn't need to listen to crappy easy listening. And no, this is not a case of the Mondays.

And then I got annoyed because the stupid censorship board has banned Ken Park and I still can't find a copy of it online to download. I really wanted to see this movie, and censorship of any form annoys the crap outta me.

Aside from that, traffic today sucked and it was cold and windy.

How was your day?

Bring on the weekend

What a busy week!

Have had to fill in at another store again this week, and on top of that had two job interviews on Tuesday, so my mind is a little frazzled. Plus, good old conservation meetings, where Mel quite often humiliates herself by saying stupid things. I think there is a blonde in me somewhere sometimes.

I'm finally gonna go and see X-Men 2 tomorrow night, yay! Ivan doesn't like the same movies as me so I have to rely on Ben, my movie buddie. And he's had the chicken pox so I've been waiting and waiting. So tomorrow, I will have to wait no more, yay! Except, well, when I get up in the morning, I'll have to wait for night to roll around, and so on, but you get my point.

Today I ran into an old customer from back in my checkout days when I worked in a store on the other side of town. He used to come in every Saturday with his daughter who's about my age and come through my register. Was so wierd to run into him, and he remembered my name too - I must have been a really polite person back then. How times have changed, har har.

Hmm, what else? Oh, remember when you were younger and you had a crush on a movie star or something who was around your age? But then, years later, when you watch those same movies, it's creepy to say you think they're hot. Here's an example. When I was 12 Terminator 2 was my favourite movie and I thought Edward Furlong was the hottest thing. He's a year or two older than me so liking the adult version of him is still cool. But watching Terminator 2 now, and seeing him when he was that young, you just feel icky perving on them. Like Kirsten Dunst is gorgeous now, but if you perve on her in Interview With The Vampire, it's kinda creepy.

Think about it sickos! :-P
I need sleep.

Random Ramblings (will they never end?)

I don't really have anything to write about today but just wanted to update so that the pictures weren't staring me in the face each time I looked at my site. So if you don't want to read any mindless chatter, then click here instead and go have some fun.

I bought the new powderfinger CD today and got a free Bonus DVD with it, w00t! I love those guys. Even if the album isn't that great, the DVD makes up for it.

Hmm, what else have I been up to? Been getting into the conservation meetings again now that my First Aid course is all finished and I haven't been for a while. Note to self: Write a letter to the Environment Minister about closing the Environment Shop (bastards).

Further note to self: Get on the exercise bike a bit more.

Final note to self: Only write when you have something meaningful to say.

Warned you to click on the link, didn't I?

Shield your eyes!

This is my favourite pic because the shadows hide everything quite well, hehehe. This was taken at Australia Zoo, and it's a kangaroo, not a wallaby, Jun :-P

The guy in the middle is my cousin Viktor, and the woman on the left is his wife, Germaine. Anyway, this was taken at Australia Zoo too, about the time I was freaking out. My sister took this photo, but there was a photographer taking another photo that we could purchase. ANyway, she took one photo, during which time I was very calm, then she needed to change her roll of film. The snake got restless and so did I.