Upgrade my life

I've finally committed myself to upgrading my computer because I'm sick of games slowing down, having to put the settings so low that they look crap, and not even being able to play more recent games on my computer. So it's time to bulk her up a bit. Because I'd rather spend more now on better parts so that the computer can last me a few years it might take me some time to finish off this upgrade, but I'm hoping it'll all done before Christmas. I'm excited because this weekend I get my new CD burner and motherboard. Now I just need to wait until I get my new CPU and RAM before I can actually use the motherboard, but still, I'm excited :)

Wednesday night drinks and dinner was good, but in true Berri fashion most people piked so again there were only four of us but it was still good. Was nice to have a meal cooked for you anyway, and we only had a couple of drinks, played the pokies for a little while and finished it quite early, at about 9:30pm. Better than sitting at home listening to my neighbours arguing anyway!

This weekend looks like it will be a quiet one with just some running around to do for a few hours on Saturday. Perhaps I'll get to catch up on some movies I've had sitting around waiting to be watched! Anyway, this has been another lovely break from work/doing nothing, but I had better go as it's almost lunchtime. Have a great weekend, all.

Wednesday = Berri party day!

Well, not really, but it seems to be the night we here at work seem to pick when we want to unwind and go for dinner somewhere or have a night out drinking. Not that there are many places to go here - there's the local Hotel or the Golf Club, and we haven't yet decided which one we're going to tonight. I wasn't too keen on going earlier today, the nights have been really cold here and I just wanted to go home and stay warm, but seeing as no one really feels like getting drunk tonight but instead just have a nice dinner, I figured I'd go along anyway. I sit at home too much as it is, I'm really starting to show my age if I keep doing that!

So, incase you've been in solitary confinement you'd all know by now the Olympics have started. I love the Olympics, if I turn on the tv I can quite happily sit down and watch whatever's on, but I've barely caught anything so far this year. Getting Broadband at home means most nights are spent online and I haven't been keen enough to get up at 2am to watch any events. Plus there are enough highlights during the day to get the gist of what's happening. I remember when they were in Sydney in 2000 I sat there and thought "I'm definitely going to the next Olympics". But here I am, in Berri, nowhere near Athens. I have no inclination to go to Beijing for the next ones, but maybe the ones after that! Well, I can always dream...

The Weekender

Another Monday at work with not much to do except blog, so I've started writing my novel on the side. I can tell you now if I don't change my mind part-way through about what I want it to be about, it's going to need a hell of a lot of rewrites because it's really crapola right now. My creative mind isn't developed yet so it's hard to write something where I can distance myself from my characters but I'm going to have to try. If I make this too personal I won't want anyone to read it, which kinda defeats the purpose.

Hope you all had a good weekend, mine was up and down. As usual saw the folks on the way to Ivan's on Friday night then just spent a bit of time online and got a pretty early night. On Saturday morning Ivan's parents came around for a little while, I had a little running around to do and then I went and had lunch with Nicole and Virginia. I was figuring it out afterwards and realised I've known Nicole for 10 years and Virginia for 9, I have no idea where that time has gone. Now they're both married and Nicole has a child, and I'm living 250Kms away from my partner and don't even own my own home, well done to me...

Nah we had a great lunch, I think in the end we were at the Cafe for about 4 hours just chatting and catching up, it was really nice. Saturday night was a quiet one which was what I wanted. We sat down to watch Troy and 20 minutes before the ending the DVD player died. So I have the thing sitting on my computer at the moment, I must watch it, I was really getting into it and it's the ending it's been building up to, dammit!

Sunday was the usual quiet, pack-up day, stopping in to see Mum and Dad again before heading back to Berri. Then listening to my neighbours screaming at each other as their baby yells his lungs out. Yep, relaxing dinner that was...

My theory

I theorise that when one person loses weight, another person inevitably puts it on. Is this to keep the Universe balanced? I'm not entirely sure but I think it's worthy of an investigation, it might even get someone a PhD!!!

I swear, I see both sides to this "fat transfer theory". When I'm losing it I might spot someone who looks like they're putting on a few, and now that it looks like Bron is losing weight, I've put some on. Curse this fat transfer!!! Since I stopped taking the medication in mid-June, I just weighed myself this morning and have put on 4 kilos!!! Dammit why is it so easy for me to put on weight? I tell you why, it's my fat transfer theory. Well, I plan to turn the tables on this one dammit, those scales were all the motivation I needed!!!

Preparing for fat transfer *targets Asuka, my arch nemesis*...

PS I had yesterday off work too and am here delirious today, is it obvious??

Craptacular

That's how I'm feeling at the moment! On Friday I had the biggest headache and a sore throat and felt crappy most of the weekend and then yesterday I didn't come to work because that craptacular feeling was going strong, and today I'm here but not really accomplishing very much at all. My head is pounding, my throat is scratchy and I am so sick of peppermint tea! Tomorrow night we're having a pub night and I really don't want to be feeling like this then so I wish I would get over it already.

Ok, that's the bitching out of the way! Apologies for not updating this blog in over a week again but aside from feeling sick I've also just had other things going on. I got ADSL at home now so my nights are spent making up for lost time, playing online games and downloading lots of things. It's also encouraged me to get a computer upgrade so I can play games without having to worry about things slowing down and not being able to see the pretty graphics for all they're worth and so on. So once my credit card is paid off that's what I'll save my money for (as much as I was hoping to get a trip to Melbourne in in the next few months). I need to make it a priority after all these years.

Also despite the lack of comments to my last entry I did have a few people speak to me personally and to those people I say thankyou. I've decided to go for one of the positions and see what happens. The boss here sounds pretty convinced I will get one (I haven't been able to judge whether he's trying to be helpful or just wants to get rid of me). Now I just wait for them to be posted, they only just advertised the Manager's position on the weekend so I imagine the rest of the positions won't be posted for a few more weeks.

Sorry for the dull entry, not feeling very creative today so this will have to do!

Just don't know what to do with myself

Ok, ok, I know I worry too much about things that may not even happen but I really don't know what to do. Because I'm a new public servant I'm on a year probation and so I thought that I would be in Berri working for at least a year. Before I moved up here Ivan and I also had to move in Adelaide so we moved him specifically into a smaller place so the rent would be less. We had it planned that by the time I move back to Adelaide we'd be much closer to getting our own place, that the next time we move it would be our last.

But now the boss has told me that I can apply for jobs in Adelaide at any time I like, and that in fact in a week, brand new positions will be advertised for a new office in Stirling, so I really don't know what to do. If I don't apply now, I might miss out, seeing as they are brand new positions I have a higher chance of getting one of them. But the timing is terrible. I have just re-signed my lease here so would be penalised for that, and there is nowhere for me to move all my things. I would have to rent another place, so I'm not sure I'd be saving any money at all, unless I get a housemate. Ofcourse I want to go back but the timing is awful and so I really have no idea what to do! So I'm probably worrying over nothing, but I have a feeling the jobs get advertised this week and I can't decide whether to apply for one or not.

Moving on from that, just a quick update on the weekend. Tomorrow is Dad's birthday so we had the family lunch thing on Saturday to celebrate it which was quite good. Maria brought her new man along, Steve, who seems quite nice and waaaay better than Nick ever was! Aside from that not much else was done apart from lots of gaming and watching Scrapped Princess. Oh, and I also saw I, Robot which was fantastic.

Anyway I had better get back to work. HELP!

Whining about wine

Just a quick update because I don't want to write another long blog and have the internet eat it like it did yesterday!

Hooray, tomorrow is Friday!! Another busy weekend but it's ok, I still get some relaxing done I suppose so I shouldn't complain.

What I love about Berri is that I've made some great friends here, Bron being one of them. I've also become somewhat more cultured, moving on from drinking vodka and beer (not at the same time) to trying different wines because there are so many vineyards in the region. What I still need to get used to is the headaches that a nice Shiraz seem to give me though.

Yesterday, Zoe, one of the Adelaide staff, was up here doing some work so Bron invited us both over to her place for dinner last night. Bron is an awesome cook! She'd done a cooking course some time back and made the best stirfry I've ever had in my life! It was just beef strips and broccoli but the marinade was delicious, and it was served on a bed of rice followed with some chocolate pudding for dessert. Was really great.

So she cracked open the wine and the three of us went through a couple of bottles, which isn't a lot but I have the worst headache today. And it also meant I didn't get home until about four and a half hours later - so much for me telling her I wouldn't make much of a night out of it!

I really need to cook more often and consult some of the many cookbooks I actually have and try something new. I'm sure Ivan won't mind and no doubt it would actually be better for me! Well, it's good in theory but whether I actually do it or not is another story :)

Oh you bitch!

I just wrote a massive blog and clicked Publish and then the internet timed out and I lost it, so I really am not gonna sit here and type it all out again. Stupid bloody thing!!!

Soundtrack to my life

Stand by Me by Ben. E. King - Reminds me of Michelle, and Year 7 at Brahma Lodge Primary. We only had the one Year 7 class and we were all close. Michelle learned how to play it on piano, showed me, and then we played it in class and on camp. The soundtrack to the best school year of my life.

Black or White by Michael Jackson - Another Year 7 song, because our class did a dance to it at assembly. I remember Mr Van den Berg saying, "Just remember: it's left, it's right".

State of Love and Trust by Pearl Jam - Driving to University with Susan in peak hour traffic, with the song blaring and us screaming out the lyrics. I remember looking over at other drivers frustrated with the traffic piled up, and we were in our own happy world.

Animal by Pearl Jam - Spending a week in Goolwa with Natasha at her Grandma's house, walking to the beach one day with this song in our heads, and me teaching Natasha how to say "that guy is hot" in Hungarian. We demonstrated my teachings when a set of super sexy surfer twins appeared and made our day (I can still remember what they looked like).

Earth Song by Michael Jackson - The song Emil got buried to. He was the first death I'd experienced, and his was a truly sad one. I haven't been able to listen to it since.

Killing Me Softly by The Fugees - I didn't want to go to my Year 12 formal, and Emil dying just 3 days before it made me want to go even less. But I ended up having a good time, and this was the last song of the night, and, for no reason and without any word, everyone just stood in a massive circle to this one on the dance floor.

Breathe by The Prodigy - The summer after year 12 finished, and the Big Day Out with Sarah, Susan and Darren, and us girls going nuts to this song when The Prodigy came on stage.

It's Now or Never by Elvis Presley - When my parents dance to this song, it's one of those rare moments that I see how much they really do love each other.

Sway by Bic Runga - The song Ivan sent me when he was trying to woo me. It worked.

Sorrow by David Bowie - Reminds me of the Powderfinger concert at Victor Harbour because they did a cover version of the song. Despite the title it reminds me of the best day of my life so far, as it was the day Ivan and I made things official, and so celebrate our anniversary on that date. And no other Powderfinger concert we've been to since was that good.

Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden - Ivan and I had dinner with Des and Belinda and after dinner we played "guess that midi" where Des would pick a midi from his computer and whoever guessed it first won nothing, but it was fun anyway. When the midi for this came on the start of it sounded like a cat being tortured and we all just burst into laughter.

500 Miles by The Proclaimers - I've mentioned this one before in my blog. The song that Elita, Kelly and I sang to Karaoke at Miriam's 21st, although I use the word "sang" loosely.

Hello by Lionel Ritchie - Having to listen to easy listening radio stations when you work at a supermarket can make you crazy. I worked in the cash office and so the office was like a safe, and Elita used to come to my little window and sing this song to make me laugh.

Hailie's Song by Eminem - Driving with Michelle on the way back from visiting my parents with Jacob, and Michelle telling me how much she loved this song off his album.

Black by Pearl Jam - Reminds me of them singing this song at their concert last year, and I turned around and saw the sadness in Ivan's eyes.

Lovetrap by Nikola Sarcevic - Bron plays this at work and we sing to it in hushed tones. It gets played at least once a week, at one stage getting played several times a day. We realised it's somewhat hard to sing it in hushed tones, especially the part where he says "Well that's a typical syndrome, when a heart gets broken....BROKEN OH YEAH!".

I am 100% sure I've forgotten some, I'll have to add to this list when I get reminded of others...

Dull-a-thon

I have absolutely nothing interesting to write about because absolutely nothing interesting has happened with me recently!  But I thought I'd better update this anyway, because otherwise, before I know it a whole bunch of things will happen and I'll end up with an overly long blog like the last one I did, which ended up being split in two.

After having Monday and Tuesday off work sick I'm back now, catching up with everything and just don't have the energy to sit here for 3 more hours today to be honest.  That new database we were supposed to have last Monday still isn't up and running and everyone has work piled up, waiting to enter all this stuff into the new system.  I'm personally just tired at looking at these pages of numbers I'm cross-referencing!

Aside from working the last couple of days very little has been happening.  My neighbour has been leaving me alone, thank goodness, and tomorrow is another drive to Adelaide for the weekend, yay!  The only thoughts that have been crossing over my mind lately are that I really want ADSL here in Berri, I am sick of being on dialup, being restricted to the times I can log on, and most of all not being able to play games online any time I like.  I've joined this new clan and haven't even had a chance to play alongside my new teammates because I need to wait until the weekend.  If only it wasn't rediculously expensive, I could look at my budget and sort something out. 

Only other news I have is that I'm doing a series of articles at Aus Battlefield and my first one was put up on the site last night so if you're interested in having a read, I'd appreciate some feedback :)

Anyway enough boring you poor readers.  This weekend will involve a LAN and so I should have something interesting to write about in the next few days (but no promises, hehe).

IB missing... IB

Something happened on Thursday night which was kinda sad, although to those non-gamers reading this it will probably seem silly. Well anyway those that know me in person know that I play this game called Battlefield 1942 online, and have done so for a couple of years now. I remember when Ivan started playing it, I was in the middle of my Honours and didn't have time to sit down and play games like I used to, and when he said "You really need to look at this game" I shrugged it off as something else I wouldn't have time for with the attitude of "I'll get to it one day". When I actually sat down and watched him play it though, I was in awe. It wasn't just one of those regular first-person shooters, in this one you could jump in tanks, airplanes, you name it, and could be an engineer, or a medic, it seemed it could suit everyone. After seeing it I just had to give it a go.

And then one day Ivan thought he'd try and play it online. I remember the first map he went into, he didn't even get a single kill. So when he suggested I try it out online I was like, you have to be kidding me. I didn't want to make a fool of myself, and Ivan was better than me at every game so if he couldn't get a kill, I dreaded to think how badly I would do, and I had never played any game online before. But, I did it, and I shot one guy, and thus the addiction was born.

Soon Ivan and I were regular members of the GameArena community, and I met such lovely fellows as Paragon and Jantar, my first two online gaming friends. After a day or two of constant online playing I got asked to be in a clan called LT, and Ivan got asked to be in one called IB. And with that our clanning lives began. Towards the end of the first season in the competition, due to "artistic differences" I left LT and after a week or two flying solo, joined IB with Ivan. I felt like I already knew these guys, because they were Ivan's friends. Ivan also got another real life friend of ours, Pacer, to join in and play, and he joined IB too.

We are now at the end of Season 3, so after two seasons with IB, and seeing lots of people come and go over that time, what happened Thursday night was really upsetting. After a lot of the clan being on the brink and a few leadership changes, the clan disbanded. It's sad because, yes, we're all still part of the same community and will keep in touch in some way, but not playing alongside the same people just feels odd after all this time. Like, Snake would irritate me no end but I loved picking on him and calling him a silly old man. Meaty and I would disagree on so many things but I was the only one who had the "balls" to tell him when I thought he was wrong. Anzac was terrible for his chat spam in the middle of a war, hogging the radio to tell you things like "I have a plane chasing me" when we on the ground couldn't do much to help him, but in hindsight those random comments always made me laugh.

Now we have all gone separate ways. Ivan has joined a different clan to me, as have all the other people so far, and although my new clanmates seem great already, it will take some time to settle into that comfortable familiarity.

RIP IB!

The Week That Was

It has been a while since I had a chance to update my blog, so this will be a pretty long entry. I've come down with a bit of a cold and so didn't go to work today, so I'm writing this in notepad at the moment and will upload it tonight. There's a lot to say and I don't want to miss anything out.

So, where to begin? Well I had been in Adelaide for the week, having headed back there last Monday and only getting home last night. We're getting (or, have got, since it was supposed to go live today) a new licensing database at work so for 3 days last week I had to head into town for training on the new system. It seems, as with all changes, it's great in theory but in practice, there was a lot more we could do on the old system. In some ways it will make things a lot easier, but setting it up to do those things easily is going to take a lot of work, so the next few weeks, or maybe months, are not going to be much fun at all. Oh well, I'm just a pleb that works there, after all.

It was Maria's birthday on Thursday and she was having her birthday dinner on Friday, so rather than come back to Berri the boss said I could work out of the Adelaide office on Friday so that was handy. It just wasn't the same though. I mean, we get our work done here in the Berri office too but it's a far more relaxed environment, like, we will get up and have a chat or a joke, go to lunch together, things like that. It was only one day but I missed it. I did, however, get phone calls and emails from the girls, which would have been great if it weren't for the content. With the good aspects of the Berri office comes the bad side of it too - the place is shocking for gossip, and this week it was Jo on the receiving end. So in my ear I had her blaming Bron, and in my emails I had Bron proclaiming innocence, with me telling them both to talk it over together. This seems to be a regular thing with me - I seem to be the person people like to come to talk to when they have a problem. I like listening, and I guess people tell me because they know I'll listen, offer a bit of advice and that they can trust me, but sometimes it is enough to drive me crazy. My parents do it to me all the time too. Like the time they took a holiday together, fought almost the entire time, and when they returned each one sat me down, individually, and told me why the other one was wrong. An awkward position to put your kids into. And now it was my two closest work friends.

Anyway, moving on from that, Maria's birthday dinner was really lovely. Everyone she was expecting turned up which is always a good sign and it seemed everyone had a good time. My sister is 6 years older than me and lives at home, and so, because my parents will do anything for us children, she has never had to pay any form of board or anything, so, she has enough money to be able to buy herself anything she wants. So I really had no idea what to get her. I decided to give her something from the heart, and seeing as I love writing so much, I made up this little book for her and I wrote in it all the great times I remember spending with her. Something she can read for those times when she's feeling down, to hopefully make her laugh and cheer her up. Thankfully, it was well received, and I loved doing it.

Which leads me to a bit of a digression here, but today I watched the great and powerful Dr Phil, and him and his wife were doing this Valentine's Day special where they were answering questions (go figure) on what you can do for each other to make the day more special, etc. One of the couples hit home with me, because they talked about how they are on a low salary and so have no spending money, and had decided not to buy each other gifts, so what could they do to still have a good Valentine's Day. Ofcourse, the answer was to do things that come from the heart, not from the wallet, that if you had no money you could still write sweet letters, pick flowers or make dinner or something to make the other person feel important. All obvious things I thought, so let's hope Ivan watched the program and took some notes or something. I don't like to bag him publicly on my blog so I mean this in some good humour, because he actually does things like that sometimes. But that damn show just makes you think how much you miss it. I mean, back when he was wooing me he did those sorts of things so often that at one point I felt smothered and had to ask him to tone it down. BIG mistake. Seems that was the cue to stop completely, wish I could go back and change that day, honestly! Teach me to speak my mind, hehehe.

Anyway, that was a tangent I wasn't planning on so back to the blog. The rest of the weekend was pretty quiet, especially considering I didn't get up until 2:30pm on Saturday, which shocked and disgusted me. What a waste of the day! We watched a couple of movies over the weekend but didn't do much else. I finally got to see Spiderman 2 which I absolutely LOVED, and then we saw The Chronicles of Riddick, which is Vin Diesel's character from Pitch Black, which I started off liking and in the end it was just average.

Um, I've just written a stackload more but I'm putting that in a separate entry rather than just tacking it onto the end of this one, so stay tuned...

Happenings

Well the weekend came and went. Nothing exciting, but was a nice relaxing one anyway. On Friday night Ivan and I didn't get up to much except I finally got to see the last episode of The L Word, through tears, might I add! Saturday morning we dropped my car off at the mechanics and went grocery shopping, then watched the football, attempted to get back to sleep and played a bit of 1942 until I was ready to crash. Sunday I headed back to Berri, stopping in to see my sister and my grandma on the way back, and today has been one of the most uneventful days at work ever!

We were supposed to have gotten our new computer system but it has been delayed by a week. This is only bad because I was taking work with me to do out of the Adelaide office on Friday, and now I need to find something to take with me which won't be using the computer. The boss is yet to come up with anything, so it could be another day spent surfing the internet and doing little else.

But hey, it's all good! Better than the mad 'working until 7pm' sessions we had when I got back from holidays, that's for sure! I just wish I had something more exciting to blog about! Oh wait, there was one thing that Michelle will think interesting even if no one else does!

You won't believe it, but I actually held a 9 day old baby last week. I know, I still can't believe it myself! For those unaware, I am scared of holding babies when they are so young, I am scared that I'll break them or something equally bad. I had to wait until Michelle's kids were a few months old before I was brave enough to hold them. Then, before I left Bi-Lo one of my old workmates brought her 3 week old girl in, and a new record was set. Last week when Adam brought his 9 day old girl in (who weighed something less than 7 pounds and was tiny), he looked at me and asked "wanna hold her?" and I answered without even thinking. It was only as he was passing her to me that I said "I've never held a baby so young, I usually wait until they're older", and with a worried look he passed her over. However I then started panicking after 30 short seconds and was like "Err, anyone else? Please?". But hey, I did it, and that's the main thing. So Shelly, when you've had your next baby, I'll try again, I promise :)

Three hours...

That's how much sleep I had last night. And this time, it wasn't my own doing. Allow me to explain...

Mum and Dad are on 4 weeks holidays from work and came up to Berri yesterday afternoon to stay for about 6 days, while I travel back and forth between Berri and Adelaide with work training, car servicing, etc. Last night we didn't do much except go and play the pokies for a couple of hours, but I digress.

I have a sofabed in the Lounge room which Dad slept on but for some reason Mum wanted to sleep in the same bed as me. I don't mind that, but let me say now, it will never happen again. I don't know what her problem was but she was snoring all. bloody. night. I even went to bed earlier, turning everything off by 11pm, thinking I needed some sleep. I eventually fell asleep around midnight, and then was awoken at 3am by the snoring... And was unable to fall back asleep...

I'm so freaking tired! And no sleep in tomorrow morning either, have to drop my car off at the workshop by 8am. Wonderful.

Methinks I will sleep until midday on Sunday. Well, I'd better!

Invasion

Ok, the title is a little harsh but it's meant in good humour, since I'm in a funny sort of mood today. My parents are on holidays from work for a few weeks, and they just arrived in Berri about an hour ago. In fact, I only just got back from having lunch with them.

I thought they were only staying for a couple of days but they're staying until Wednesday apparently, which isn't so bad. They'll be at my house more than I will! I'll be with them tonight, and then tomorrow I make my regular pilgrimage back to Adelaide for the weekend. I could have stayed in Berri with them I suppose, but I need to get my car serviced ASAP and the next two weekends are pretty chockers, so this was the only time I could really do it. Plus, I haven't seen Ivan in over a week and am missing him. And, I have a lot of laundry to do too. So mum and dad will stay in Berri while I go back to Adelaide for the above reasons. I'll come back to Berri Sunday night, go to work Monday, and then Monday night I'm heading back to Adelaide again. Work is getting a new Licensing Database so I have training in the city Tuesday - Thursday. I would have had to come back to Berri on Friday again, but the boss said I could work out of the Adelaide office for the day, so I won't be back home until the following Sunday. Got all that? Hehehe :)

In a nutshell, mum and dad staying so long won't be so bad because I'll only be seeing them for two nights over that time. I know that sounds terrible. I do love my parents being with me. It reminds me of being young again, when all they did was for us kids. I mean, they still do that, they look after us beyond themselves I think, but you know what I mean? When you're living at home it's like you get spoiled every day. Mum making you a coffee or toast in the morning, getting home and having your dinner on the table, all that sorta stuff I took for granted. Like, just now, I went home to have lunch with them. They had only just arrived but mum already had the kettle going and had sandwiches ready, and dad was dismantling the heater to get the gas bottle refilled to make the house warm. It's so nice to have that.

Ofcourse, there was always the other side, which still drives me crazy and which is why I know that now that I've tasted the independence (it's been over 4 years since I moved out), I could never go back. They are so loving that it becomes suffocating after a while. They want everything in life to be perfect for us kids. So often, if you do things a little differently, it's "Why don't you do it this way?", or "You know, you really should.....", or, and this is the worst, the changes will be made, to your own things, without your knowledge.

I don't want to sound ungrateful, and the love I have for my parents is immense. If anyone ever did anything to hurt them, I would be on that person in a heartbeat. I just don't think I can handle having them in my face every day again. That's sorta normal, isn't it?

So anyway, I will be online intermittently for the next week and a half. I'm not going to log on from home while they're visiting, I'd rather spend the time chatting to them, but I'll be checking in from work and from Adelaide over the weekend no doubt.

More later...

The Art of Music

I am someone who loves listening to all types of different music, I always have. Now that I live on my own I don't need to worry about waking anyone up in the morning so while I'm getting ready I turn up my music, something that I hadn't been able to do for about 4 years. I never realised I missed it so much.

And now that I work in an office I can bring CDs in with me, put my headphones on and get lost in it all while I do my work (yes, I do actually do work here too, not just spend all my time on the net, hehehe).

There's not really one particular type of music I like, I can pretty much listen to anything. Sometimes it will be just for something catchy you can dance to, but most of the time the songs I get lost in are ones that have amazing lyrics. Ones that different people might get different interpretations over, that make you think about what they're saying. That's why I love bands like Pearl Jam, or people like Eminem, so much. Their music is their way of saying what's on their minds. Maybe it's because I like writing, that I like this type of music the best, I don't know.

Most of the time, songs with great lyrics are love songs, it's a common theme. Whether it's about being in love, losing your love or wanting them back, there's always those few songs that stand out, to make them a little different from the rest.

Last night I decided to listen to some Jeff Buckley which I hadn't listened to in ages. My favourite song of his was always The Last Goodbye and so I wouldn't pay much attention to his others, skipping over them to get to that one song. But last night I really listened and heard the most amazing song, called Hallelujah. It's about, well, I think it is anyway, the death of love, but despite all the pain, he's greatful to have experienced it. I found this site today which goes through the lyrics a bit more and gives its own interpretation of the song, which I pretty much agree with. Funny how this song, which isn't necessarily original in its intent, could grab my attention like that, but I guess it has to do with him having such a haunting voice.

Anyway, I know this is a tangent from my usual "what I did today" blogs but I have been listening to this song most of the day at work and wanted to write something about it since I'm obsessing about it so much :)

I'll get back to my regular blogging activities soon, I promise :)

Regrets?

What I really wanted to write about today was to ask whether anyone that reads this has any regrets from their lives? Most people I know have the mindset that there is no point living with any regrets, because there's nothing you can do about the past. This is true, I just wish I could actually do that.

My problem is I analyse things too much, think about them, trying to figure out why they happened a certain way, what I could have done differently, all that stuff. Am I the only person who does still live with regrets?

The great Dr Phil always says you teach people how to treat you, which is very true I think. So my regrets are not about the big steps in my life, but about things I have said or done to people, which has resulted in the way my relationships are today. That's what I think about often, and regret things done or said. Not with everyone, but sometimes.

What about you guys?

The injustice!

This isn't what I was gonna blog about but I just got an email and I'm annoyed. Bree got voted out of Big Brother last night and the world was good! But, apparently there was an error in the count, and she goes back in tonight. NOOOOO!!! And then the person who was supposed to go, gets evicted Thursday. This sucks, it was obviously damn close and no one wants her there anyway. Leave her out!! :( Anyway, a proper blog to follow soon :P

The best parts of a holiday

I had a great time in Townsville - I met some wonderful people, saw some beautiful scenery, we managed to squeeze a lot into just a few days. But I find that the best parts of any holiday are the ones that might mean the most to you, but perhaps other people mightn't give a second thought to them. Like, something you see, something someone says to you, something that makes you laugh. So I thought I'd share some of my favourite moments from my trip to Townsville.

- Running into someone at the airport, someone who perhaps doesn't play a part in your life anymore but did once, and those times still make you smile, and you wish that people hadn't changed.
- Perusing the Airport bookstore for something to read. Finding a book written by your GP (he writes short stories and poems, not anything medical). Then you see a book that immediately grabs your attention. You read the blurb and immediately buy it, as if it's spoken to you.
- Watching people at the airport while you wait for the plane. The single mothers, the old couple, the young people getting time away.
- Running through the rain across the tarmac to get on your plane. Something to maybe annoy you sometimes but other times, it makes you smile, and you regret that they'll be changing the terminal soon to stop that from happening anymore.
- Getting a window seat and seeing something magical, like the way the rain and darkness disappears once you go above the clouds, and the sun first hits you, and it feels like this is a totally different world.
- Reading that book you bought and realising you've never felt this way about a book before. Has this author delved into your mind? Sure seems like it!
- Meeting people you've known for so long for the first time.
- Meeting the people who are letting strangers stay in their house and realising they're exactly like your own parents.
- Finding that unique thing about each person you're meeting (some examples follow).

Andrei has this way of eating food that is like nothing you've ever seen before. It's like a steak is something to be savoured and eaten only after analysing every bite, turning the food on his plate this way and that, until he finds the next best bit of meat to cut off and eat. He also has a smile that warms your heart.
Chris is not as crazy as you imagined him to be, which is somehow settling. He will say things, just off the cuff like an everyday remark, and not even know how funny what he said actually was. People like this is what you need in everyday life, to keep you laughing and sane.
Sammo is exactly in real life as he is online, his mannerisms, everything. He was always smiling and happy. He had this way of doing things to irritate me (like slurping frozen Coke during. the. entire. movie.) but you could never ever stay mad at him, he's too much of a kind spirit.
Sam was, for lack of a better word, admirable. He pulled me aside and apologised in person for something that had happened over a month ago, and that meant a hell of a lot. I suppose it shows he really does consider me a friend, to bother doing that. He also gives the best hugs, and the little kiss on the cheek at the airport meant a lot after all the crap we've been through :)
Darren was the youngest person there, and I was over 10 years older than him. And yet, the only reason you get reminded of his age is because he will do silly things, things that make you go "oh man, I remember when (such-and-such) and I would just do random things like that" and you'll laugh. Then think about what he just did, and laugh and laugh some more. It's an awesome quality to have.
Greg is very much the same but in a much more subtle way, as if the jokes he shares with people are a lot more intimate, I guess because he's a bit more shy so you need to pull him aside to see his funny side. In other ways he was completely different to Darren which was great, because it made them both unique. He made me laugh as others had over the weekend, but this guy really cracked me up, to the point of laughing until tears welled in my eyes. Laughter I haven't had in such a big way in such a long time. And he did it just by being himself, and that's a friggin wonderful way to be.
Jen is being mentioned here last but is by no means the least. I can honestly say that I think she's a beautiful person. Someone I consider to be the perfect woman. It sounds so odd to say that, but, despite being beautiful on the outside, she's quiet yet funny, so friendly, very easy to talk to, values her friends a hell of a lot (who else would fly across the country as a surprise to her friends), is basically just a wonderful person all-round. The only one-on-one time I had with her only lasted a couple of minutes but I really did love that time. For someone who had never spoken to her before apart from a few sentences online a few months ago, she made me feel... like what I had to say mattered I guess. Hard to explain.

All the things that you see and do during your time away are important and memorable ofcourse, but these few moments shared with each of the people above are the times I hold most dear.

Return to life as we know it

I'm home from Townsville and will be back at work tomorrow. I'll write more soon but just wanted to let people know I was back and hadn't forgotten about blogging :)